The 99 Things post series started at the end of my sophomore year, a collaboration with two of my dearest friends. (Rachel and Mary Shelley - you two forever have my heart.) A lover of routine, I've kept it up, now reaching what may be the final post in the series. Whether or not I'll keep this up into the college years, I really don't know yet, but I know that I love having these posts to look back on. Keeping up the Senior Saturday series with 99 Things that this whirlwind of a year taught me/reminded me.

1. You're capable of more than you think you are.
2. That being said, don't put yourself in a position where you're so exhausted and drained that everything is miserable.
3. Don't let someone who knows less about what you're doing than you do make you feel inadequate.
4. The happiest moment of your life will be when you're finally done with standardized testing.
5. DRINK WATER.
6. Sometimes it's okay to just eat a pop-tart for lunch alone in your car because #senioryear.
7. Get out of bed. Blare the Jesus music. You can do this.
8. No one cares what you look like besides you. Stop stressing.
9. The Legally Blonde soundtrack can get you through anything.
10. People who remind you that they're proud of you are the kind of people to keep close.
11. You. Are. Enough.
12. Watching your friends live out their dreams and just rock this life thing is the best feeling in the world.
13. God can turn any situation around, no matter how bad it looks.
14. You will be found.
15. Situations work out the way that they're supposed to, even when it looks impossible at the beginning.
16. Start shopping for your end of the semester stuff in January- prom dresses, graduation dresses, etc. You'll be so glad you did.
17. PLAN PLAN PLAN PLAN PLAN. I cannot emphasize that enough. Plan.
18. Comfort food might possibly be the only thing besides Jesus that gets you through the year and honestly it's okay we're all right there with you.
19. No matter how crazy things get, don't isolate yourself.
20. Stack your classes early in high school so that you have a light senior year. Just trust me.
21. Never say that "I'll never do _____." Jesus has a real sense of humor.
22. Cardigans are the best thing in the world.
23. Real friends stick with you even when life is crazy.
24. BE THOUGHTFUL.
25. Keep a running list of thank you notes that need to be written and try to get them in the mail as quickly as possible. It just makes life easier.
26. Don't feel guilty about letting yourself recharge. You can't function well if you don't take care of yourself.
27. You cannot be everything for everyone.
28. When God tells you not to do something, LISTEN.
29. Likewise, when God tells you to do something, LISTEN.
30. When in doubt, walk it out. (Prayer walking is even better.)
31. Survival without coffee is possible.
32. Leave your phone in another room when at all possible.
33. When online shopping, make sure it's returnable.
34. Sometimes, you have to be the one to speak up. Nothing will ever change if everyone stays silent.
35. Photographs are the single most precious memento you can have.
36. Go to prom. Just do it.
37. If you're going to get your nails done for prom, don't try to cram it in the day of prom. Do it the day before.
38. Sometimes you just need to sit in your car for an hour because it's the only place you can get some peace.
39. Have a go-to playlist for those mornings where you'd rather do literally anything than the things that you have on the agenda.
40. Routines save so much time.
41. The beach is quite literally the most therapeutic place in the world.
42. Ben Rector says it best - you can't make old friends. Cherish them.
43. If you don't write it down, you'll forget it. (You can't remember everything no matter how hard you try.)
44. Read for pleasure as much as you can.
45. You've Got Mail will never get old.
46. Prayer journaling will save. your. life.
47. Life is better in leggings.
48. Social media is literally pointless. Please don't let your life revolve around it.
49. Take the time to show people how much you appreciate them.
50. God plans out every tiny detail of your life. There's zero reason to stress. He's got you.
51. If you feel yourself getting sick, CHUG WATER. I swear, every time I do this, I'm 80% better the next day. Pretty sure I've almost given myself water poisoning in the process but it's fine.
52. No matter how much you strive to be independent, lean on people every once in a while. It's okay, I promise.
53. You can't put out good art if you don't consume good art.
54. Nothing brightens someone's day more than surprise snail mail.
55. Car shopping is quite possibly the most miserable process on planet earth.
56. If you use an online calendar/calendar app, be sure to set it so that it doesn't delete your appointments after they've passed. Just trust me.
57. When you get the opportunity to learn from someone more experienced than you, soak in every second.
58. Dump your phone regularly. Don't let full storage stop you from taking as many photos as you possibly can.
59. Joy is a choice.
60. NaNo is never easy, but some years are even rougher than others. Be proud of what you accomplish, even if it's not what you hoped.
61. Prayer >>>>>>>>
62. Sometimes it's going to seem like nothing is working out and everything is falling apart, but in reality, God's pulling it all together.
63. College stuff sneaks up on you SO FAST. No one tells you just how early things are actually due. Don't let it catch you by surprise.
64. Make sure that you find your calculator BEFORE midnight the night before the SAT. Otherwise a Walmart run will be in your near future.
65. Jeremy Jordan Broadway covers will bless your life.
66. Dual credit is the best idea. Do as much as you can.
67. Getting your senior photos taken is one of the most surreal feelings.
68. Friends who send you cat photos when they know you're upset are the best kind of people you can possibly have in your life.
69. Bread will get you through anything.
70. You know things are low when you find yourself crashed on the couch at one am with comfort food you don't even like but are eating anyways.
71. There is nothing on earth better than having a class cancelled.
72. When your brain is messy, clean your space. It helps so so much.
73. Start working on Christmas presents in October. Just do it.
74. Dramatic musical theatre songs (LES MIS!) make the best alarms.
75. Breathe breathe breathe.
76. Seeing the Lord work in your friends' lives is without a doubt the most incredible thing to watch.
77. God WILL provide.
78. Show the people who are important to you that they're important to you.
79. Senior year and sleep basically do not exist simultaneously but try not to die of sleep deprivation. Going to bed before one am every now and then is a solid decision.
80. Sometimes you just need to eat ice cream for lunch.
81. Glitter makes the world a better place.
82. If you're getting the same advice from literally everyone in your life that you trust, you should probably listen.
83. Push yourself to make time to do what you love.
84. Writing things out will help you to process.
85. People are going to frustrate you, they're going to drive you crazy- love is a choice. Love them anyways.
86. It really really really really really really really doesn't matter what people think. No one will ever be as critical of you as you are of yourself.
87. Stand up for what you believe in without holding back.
88. Not everyone's going to like you, and it isn't the end of the world. Still working on being okay with this.
89. Anxiety can feel debilitating. Push through anyways.
90. Internet friends are some of the most wonderful people.
91. If you want to simultaneously bawl and be amazed, watch Bandstand.
92. There is no better feeling than driving home.
93. Completely avoiding drama makes your life so much easier.
94. Wing your eyeliner and do the thing.
95. Keep a book with you at all times.
96. Sunflowers make everything better.
97. God just might give you exactly what you never dared to hope for.
98. Graduation is the most special day. Soak up every second.
99. Don't wish away senior year. Enjoy every second.

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Also! In case you missed it on Twitter, the winners of the blogiversary giveaway are...

Abigail Lennah
Hanne T
Amanda from SKG

Thank you so much to everyone who entered! I so appreciate you celebrating with me! ♥

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What did this year teach you?

Senior Spring

Senior spring was a time that I will never be able to properly put into words.

It was a season of early mornings and late nights. Of more rehearsals that I would have thought possible, of running and dancing and singing with everything we had. It was a time of roles I'd dreamt of, of the opportunity to work underneath pure genius.

It was a season of friendship. Of practically living with my best friend and somehow never getting sick of each other. Of putting our all into maintaining relationships, no matter the exhaustion and lack of time. Of 'how are you' texts and 'tell me about your day' phone calls. People who were always there for an encouraging word. Of learning who cared enough to keep things strong, even when life was crazy.

Senior spring was way too much shopping. It was wondering why on earth it's so difficult to find a white dress. (Hint: Altar'd State is your best friend.) It was prom dress option after prom dress option before finally deciding on the dress I fell in love with from day one, of hours spent looking through dance costumes and swearing that I would never online shop again as long as I live.

It was prom. Of not even knowing if I really wanted to go, but having the best time. Prom was swing dancing with old friends and endless photobooth strips and dance circles and going out to eat until two in the morning. It was singing along to all of the songs at the top of our lungs like we didn't have rehearsal in the morning. It was swirling skirts and flying curls and people I love and laughter.

Senior spring was the most bittersweet. It was knowing that things would never be completely the same after May 12th came around, and fighting to enjoy every moment of it because of that. To soak in the minutes, the details, the things I never want to forget. Hugs and conversations scribbled in the pages of my mind forever.

It was hard. It was exhaustion almost all the time and feeling like nothing would ever be good enough, like I would never be good enough. That I'd bitten off more than I could chew but had to make it all perfect anyways, no matter what it took. Thinking that I had to be everything for everyone, and being determined to do it. Determination, a wonderful character trait that walks such a fragile line.

It was a season of learning. Of learning that I can do more than I would have thought, but learning that I can't do it all, and learning that that's okay. Of trying to remember that I can't be a superhero, and that no one expects that. Of learning to breathe through it and keep at it.

It was endless spontaneity despite the craziest of schedules. Pockets of time for adventures, ice cream for lunch and thirty minute road trips to nowhere. Fitting in as much as possible with the 24 hours given.

Senior spring was dreaming way too big, and fighting to make it happen anyways. Creativity thrust into overdrive. Pushing and working and going going going to make it a reality. Hours upon hours upon hours alone in the studio, the music permanently ingrained in my memory. Scribbling down notations at the most frantic of speeds, desperate to remember every fleeting idea. It was endless gratitude for the love and patience and gigantic hearts of the ones who were a part of it, of the senior project that I still can't believe actually happened.

It was a season of provision, in every possible aspect. Of opportunity beyond my wildest dreams. Of Jesus knowing the depths of my heart and whispering yes. Seeing the Lord's hand in everything, opening up doors for the future while keeping me rooted in the moment and helping me get through where I was right then. Holding me up and keeping me grounded while giving me glimpses of the joy and blessings in store.

It was tears. Tears of exhaustion and feelings of inadequacy and fear, but tears of relief and pure gratitude for the kind souls who helped make the load a little lighter. family. the second momma crew. friends who are family in every sense but blood. {cyrus freaking fontaine who saved my senior project + sanity simultaneously and whose praises I will never stop singing. go buy every song he's ever written.}

It was a season that culminated in one big, wonderful night that I'll never forget. Surrounded by nearly everyone I loved, in my favorite place in the world, dancing on that stage one final time. We took it all to the next level as theatre kids tend to do, and walked down the aisle to Don't Stop Believing. That song and the many others of that night (theatre kids, remember?) will forever have the biggest space in my heart.

Senior spring was overwhelming. Overwhelming stress, overwhelming kindness, overwhelming exhaustion, overwhelming gratitude, overwhelming joy. Overwhelming is the only way to describe it. And maybe that's why it's a season that I'll never be able to adequately put into words for anyone, no matter how desperately I want to throw it all onto the page. Sometimes, God's goodness is so grand that it can't be described, and I'm just grateful to have lived it.

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I know that this was so long ago, and doing a senior recap in August is the strangest thing. But the season was so crazy, and in the months since, I haven't been able to write anything that I felt did it justice. So now, almost three months later, I'm processing and taking the time to record it. This blog has followed me since the beginning of freshman year, so it feels wrong not to wrap high school up. Hopefully you all don't mind too much. ♥ Thus, I'm going to have a little baby series running on the blog this month called Senior Saturdays. If you're heading into senior year as I know quite a few people are, hopefully you'll particularly enjoy these, and if you've already graduated, maybe they'll give you a bit of a trip down memory lane. Either way, thanks for popping by this little space of mine. Love you lots. xx

Senior Updates IV

because cinnamon rolls are the b e s t

Everyone tells you that senior year flies by, but I really underestimated the truth of that statement. This year has gone by so. quickly. I can't believe that in two and a half months, I'll be finished with high school. It's completely surreal, and honestly, I'm trying not to think about it too hard yet.

Life since my last senior update has officially reached the height of insanity. I have never been this busy in my life, but I'm loving all of the various sources of craziness, even if they do leave me exhausted on a semi-regular basis. It's a lot, but I'm just really thankful that my last semester of high school has worked out in such a way that I can do so many things that I love.

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L A T E L Y

I feel like I have SO MANY things to update you guys on! My last Senior Update post was in mid-December, and it's insane how much has happened since then. I really wanted to do an update at the end of January, but I just couldn't get the post written up. So, I'm just going to attempt to summarize everything that's taken place over the last few months, and hope that it comes out semi-coherently. 

January was consumed by prepping for a musical theatre competition. My group competed with the piece You Will Be Found from Dear Evan Hansen. I performed in the piece, and also helped to choreograph it. It was such an incredible experience. If you've never heard the song before, you absolutely should go listen to it. It's a really powerful number, and getting to perform that number onstage was something that I'll never forget. Honestly, just getting to be a part of such a moving performance was enough, but what was even more mind blowing was....we took first! I could have cried, I was so happy. My last high school competition could not have possibly been more wonderful.

The same week of the competition, I auditioned for a production of Beauty and the Beast. I told myself going in that there was absolutely no way that I would be cast, that I was just auditioning for the experience. Long story short, I ended up getting a callback, and finding out the next day that I was cast as not only a Silly Girl (dream role!), but a wolf and a napkin as well. Literally three roles that I've always wanted to play in that show. I've actually worked on a production of Beauty and the Beast once before, and I'm thrilled to have the opportunity to be doing this show again. It's one of my all-time favorites.

The crazy part of joining Beauty and the Beast was that it meant that I'm now in not one, but TWO musicals. At the same time. Running the same month. I've never done this before, and it was probably a terrible decision on my part, seeing as I'm rehearsing roughly 28 hours a week, but it's so much fun. I can't think of a better way to spend my senior spring than surrounding myself with theatre.

Senior spring also means TONS of college stuff. I applied to two colleges, was accepted to both of them, and have made my decision. I'm really happy with it, and I'm excited to see what next semester is like. Now it's just a matter of finalizing a decision on a major and getting used to the fact that I'm almost a college student. What. (!!!!!)

The writing world has been rather bleak, due to the fact that I've been so busy that I've barely slept, much less had a chance to write. I did, however, write a short fiction piece that was a little piece of my soul, and I published it here on the blog. (My first time posting fiction!) If you missed that, you can read it here. ♥

Life is also filled with lots and lots of graduation planning. Let's just say, fine arts kids don't do anything halfway, and I'm pretty pumped.

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G O A L S

I'm trying not to set too many goals for myself, since time is scarce and I don't want to end up beating myself up over not accomplishing everything that I want to. But you all know that I'm way too Type A to not set ANY goals. So I'm aiming for a balance of realistic, yet productive. Let's give this a shot. 

-Journal journal journal. I've been journaling on a semi-consistent basis, but I want to do it even more. I want to be sure that I have all of these memories saved forever.

-Take as many photos as possible. Again with the memory hoarding. I want to record all of the crazy memories of this semester. 

-Stay organized. There are so many things to balance, and I don't want to find myself at the last minute scrambling to get things together. I've really been working to organize everything ahead of time, and I want to continue doing this.

-Find a prom dress! I found one that I really like, but it's a little more expensive than I'd hoped to spend. 

-Get my license. I've been meaning to do it for forever, and it's one of those things that I've just got to get done.

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R E A D

My reading life has been nothing short of horrible, if we're being honest. The craziness of life has completely stolen the little reading time that I had. I've been trying to keep a bit of steady reading in my life by keeping a book with me at all times, so I'll read a chapter in between classes or while waiting for rehearsal to start. It's definitely helping me to continue to read consistently, but goodness, I wish that I had the time to just sit down and devour a book in an afternoon like I used to. Oh well. I haven't read anything lately that I've absolutely loved, so if you happen to have any super solid recommendations, send them my way!

Since my last Senior Update, I've read......

-The Color Project by Sierra Abrams : At some point, I'm going to have to do a whole post on this book. It is an utter masterpiece.

-The Cage-maker by Nicole A. Seitz : An amazingly detailed historical fiction full of mystery, intrigue, and drama. 

-Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis : I'm so glad that I finally read this book. It's so good. Full of so much truth and such brilliant perspectives. I highly recommend taking notes as you read this one- you'll be glad that you did.

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L I S T E N I N G

Truce - Twenty-One Pilots
Atlas: Daughter - Sleeping at Last
You Will Be Found - Dear Evan Hansen
Atlas: Two - Sleeping at Last
So Will I - Hillsong United
Atlas: Taste - Sleeping at Last

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So, how has life been treating you lately? How's your semester going? What exciting things have you been up to? What have you been reading? Listening to? What's the best thing that's happened to you lately? I want to hear all about it. ♥

Senior Updates III

my heart ♥

Finally being back at my laptop, typing away at a blog post feels so good. I've missed the blogging world a lot. No matter how crazy life gets, this is always my home, and being back here just feels right.

Life since my last senior update has been insane in every way possible, but it's been filled with blessings upon blessings, and I am oh so grateful. Thinking back over everything that has happened is so overwhelming, and I'm just so thankful.

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L A T E L Y

The main thing that went on since my last Senior Update was my theatre group's Christmas show. Oh my goodness. It was crazy and hectic, and a lot of blood, sweat, and tears went into it (quite literally), but I could not have asked for a more wonderful experience. I got to see pieces that I'd dreamed of come to fruition before my eyes, and I feel like God was so evident throughout the entire process. I could ramble about it all for hours; my heart aches just thinking about it. But I'll keep it simple. It was perfect.

As you all know, NaNo was a thing. I've already rambled about that in my NaNo recap post, but I'll just say that it definitely was a huge part of the month of November for me. Lots of late nights spent typing away at my laptop, but I'm happy to have written so much, and to have been able to do it with some fantastic humans.

Thanksgiving also took place, obviously. It was a really lovely, quiet day, exactly what I needed amidst all of the chaos of wrapping up the semester.

The semester has come to an end, which is super weird. Finals were last week, so as of now I'm on Christmas break. I still can't entirely wrap my head around the fact that I only have one semester of high school left. I'm not sure that I want to wrap my head around it quite yet, if we're being honest.

And hey- WE GOT SNOW! It was super random and surprising, and the timing was somewhat terrible, but it was magical all the same. We never get snow in early December here, so it was definitely a huge shock, but it was fun to see the world covered in white for a few days.

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G O A L S

-Get myself organized for Christmas! I have barely shopped at all this season; it's terrible. I am so horrifically behind. My mind will be so much more at ease once I have gifts bought and wrapped and under the tree.

-Read again. With all of the craziness of the past few months, I haven't read as much as I would have liked, and I miss it desperately. I can't wait to finally get the chance to curl up with a book.

-Journal journal journal. The more that I do it, the more that I love it.

-Take the new time that I have to organize life and clear my head. I'm so thankful to finally have the chance to get some things done that have been nagging me for ages, to clean up my room, to just be able to focus on things that I want to focus on, not things that are due.

-Enjoy the Christmas season. Most of all, I just want to enjoy the month. December is such a magical time of year, and I don't want to let myself get bogged down with to-do's like I have the tendency to do. I'd love to just enjoy it. 

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R E A D

This is so sad, but I have read almost nothing since my last Senior Update. I read God and Ronald Reagan for school, and I'm working my way through Mere Christianity, but that's about it. Now that my life suddenly has a lot less in it, I'm hoping to pummel through a bunch of books. I won't make my reading challenge for the year, but I want to get closer. My aunt gave me a copy of The Color Project for Christmas, and I am beyond excited to read it. 

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L I S T E N I N G

Hope Is The Anthem- Switchfoot

Overcome- Elevation Worship

I Won't Let You Go- Switchfoot

99 Red Balloons- Sleeping at Last

Venus- Sleeping at Last 

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How is life going for you guys? Are you excited for Christmas? Any fun plans? What have you been loving lately? What's been making you smile? I want to hear all about it. ♥

Senior Updates II

sunsets are forever my favorite thing. ♥

WHEW. How have we already made it to November?? Mind = Blown. This semester has flown by. Like, in my head, it's still September. But now we're almost at Thanksgiving? I don't understand.

Overall, the semester has gone well. It's been beyond crazy. I honestly can't remember a time where I've had SO MUCH going on. It's been a lot to balance, and the overwhelm has been so real, but it's been good. Super thankful for everything, even when it's chaotic.

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L A T E L Y

If you follow me on Twitter (shameless self promo), then you know that I'm attempting NaNo again this year! I'm still honestly not sure if this was a wonderful decision or a terrible one. I really loved it last year, but this year hasn't gone quite as smoothly. I don't know if it's the story, me, or both, but it just hasn't gone as well. Here's to lots of sprints to knock the rest of the 50K out!

Theatre wise, things have been CRAZY. Last month, I crewed/prop mastered a murder mystery play, which was so much fun. We got to play around with lots of fake blood, and I was THRIVING. xD Now I'm in the midst of Christmas prep, which has been a lot of work, but super fun. I'm actually getting to choreograph a piece for our show, I'm in another piece that involves dancing with massive wings and being flipped upside down, and I also have my first-ever solo dance. We're also in the midst of competition prep, and I've been asked to choreograph that piece as well. I'm so beyond excited for these pieces, but it's definitely nerve-wracking!

I'm doing Thankfulness Thursday posts on the blog again this year! I always love this series, and it makes me so happy when you guys join in. If you decide to take part, be sure to send me the link to your post, and I'll share it!

We had the chance to escape to the beach for a few days, which was wonderful. The whole trip was filled with so many Jesus blessings, and it was the best weekend I've had it quite a long time.

I've FINALLY gotten back into journaling, which has been awesome. It's so good for me, I really need to make it more of a priority.

I also got a job last month! I'm working at this adorable local bookstore, and I'm really enjoying it. I've always wanted to work at a bookstore, so I'm so excited to finally be getting to do it!

School has thankfully been fairly low-key, for which I am SO thankful. Super weird that there are only a couple of weeks left. I'm currently trying to figure out my classes for next semester- my last semester of high school. Not going to think about that right now....

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G O A L S

-COMPLETE NANO. I am so determined, y'all. I have to finish this.

-Catch up on snail mail. If you've written me snail mail and I haven't responded yet, I'M SORRY I LOVE YOU I PROMISE. I'm going to write you back, I promise!!

-Start Christmas shopping. The fact that it's actually time to think about Christmas presents is crazy, but I really don't want to wait until the last minute this year.

-READ. I am so behind on my reading challenge. There's pretty much no way I'm going to complete it, haha, which KILLS ME. Ugh. But I'm going to get AS CLOSE AS POSSIBLE I AM DETERMINED.

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R E A D - O C T O B E R

speaking of reading...

The Beautiful Lost by Luanne Rice- I actually won this book in a giveaway! I had mixed feelings on it. Overall, it was a good book, very bittersweet, but a bit odd. Not great, not terrible. 

Peter Pan by J.M. Barrie- It was about time for me to read this! Such a classic.

All My Sons by Arthur Miller- I had to read this for school, but actually enjoyed it. It's an extremely well-written play, with a super interesting premise. 

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L I S T E N I N G

Dark Horse- Sleeping at Last

Earth- Sleeping at Last

Overcome- Elevation Worship

Countdowns- Sleeping at Last

Everything to Win- Anastasia Broadway Soundtrack

Mess of Me- Switchfoot

HAPPINESS- Acoustic- NEEDTOBREATHE

Who I'd Be- Shrek Broadway Soundtrack

I'll Keep On- NF

If You Want Love- NF

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So, how's life going for you? What's the best thing that's happened to you lately? I HOPE YOUR DAY IS GOING WONDERFULLY!! ♥

Senior Updates I

It's already a month and a half into senior year, and the fact that I'm a senior still hasn't gotten any less weird. It's been crazy, and things have gotten super overwhelming recently, but overall it's gone pretty well. I know that soon, I'm going to blink and the semester is going to be over, and then I'm going to blink again and find myself at graduation, so I just want to try to enjoy everything as it comes.

I'm sorry if this post isn't remotely coherent my brain is so fried.

If you know anything about me, you know that I'm a complete memory hoarder. One of the things that I knew at the beginning of the year was that I wanted to try my best to remember everything that happens this year. I was inspired by my lovely friend Rachel's series last year to write a series of senior year updates here on the blog. I apologize in advance if they bore you to death, but I'm excited to be able to look back on these later.

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L A T E L Y

School has been going well so far. I have a fairly light load for senior year, thank goodness, and classes have been going well for the most part. I've been doing a decent job of getting assignments done early instead of waiting until the last minute, and it's definitely saving my sanity. Here's hoping that this lasts for the rest of the year!

because gifs just make things better

Theatre wise, things have been busy prepping for our fall play. I'm in charge of props, which I always love doing. It's crazy, but it's a lot of fun. We only have a couple weeks left, which always is nerve wracking, but it's super exciting! We've also started working on some choreography pieces for our Christmas show, and I'm pumped. I think they're going to be really, really good. Fingers crossed!

Here on the blog, I've been kind of absent, which I hate, but I've had to devote my attention to other things, and I'm learning that that's okay. I did share two posts that I really loved, though, so if you missed them, you should totally check them out. For Suicide Awareness Month, I joined with Elissa for her "Stay" series, and shared something that's super close to my heart. Then, later in the month...I GOT TO MEET AIMEE!! It was the most wonderful thing ever, and I miss her already. ♥

In smaller happy life-y things, we had a bouquet of sunflowers in our kitchen for a week, and it added so much sunshine to life. I finally managed to find a planner that I love, and that's just been an overall highlight. Elevation Worship's music is a blessing to life and basically is what keeps me sane at this point. A terrible group project is *finally* coming to an end, and I could cry tears of joy. Overall, my schedule has been ridiculously busy, but it's been peppered with lots of small, happy moments, so I'm thankful for that.

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G O A L S

-Rewrite rewrite rewrite rewrite REWRITE. So far it's not going super well, but I really want to get this second draft finished.

-Outline for NaNo. I haven't decided which project I want to work on yet, but I'm determined to take part in NaNo again. 

-Survive the SAT. I'm taking it a second time, and I can officially say that standardized testing is the worst.

-LOTS OF SNAIL MAIL!! I have so many people that I want to send some snail mail, but I just haven't had the chance yet. Several super sweet friends sent me things this past month, and I hope you all know that you made me cry happy tears and I love you very much. :') ♥

-College apps. They have to happen and I'm absolutely dreading it, but it's got to be done. 

-Start a habit tracker. I finally got a new planner (!!!!), and it comes with a few sheets of graph paper every month, so I want to use those pages to start a couple bullet journal type pages, including a habit tracker.  

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R E A D - S E P T E M B E R

Mr. Darcy's Daughters by Elizabeth Aston- Not a bad book, but not one of my absolute favorites. It's written very stylistically similar to Austen, but it just wasn't a book that I loved.

The Glass Menagerie by Tennessee Williams- I had to read this play for school. It's actually really good, with a ton of fantastic subtext. Naturally, reading it for school always dulls things a bit because you have to worry about whether you're comprehending it correctly, but it really is a good play.

A Farewell to Arms by Ernest Hemingway- I've wanted to read this forever, but I was really disappointed. I wanted to like it so badly, but I just didn't enjoy it at all.

The Devil Wears Prada by Lauren Weisberger- Honestly, I loved this book. It's not a super deep read or anything, and if you're looking for a clean book, this isn't the best option, but oh my goodness it is hilarious. It was just so entertaining, I couldn't help but love it. A definite guilty pleasure.

Dancing for Degas by Kathryn Wagner- I ended up DNF'ing this one. It just wasn't a book that I enjoyed. The writing style wasn't my favorite, and the plot went in a far different direction than what I expected. Just not one that I was a fan of.

We'll Meet Again by Mary Higgins Clark- I'm still in the middle of this one, but so far it's really good. I love Mary Higgins Clark novels, and this one has not disappointed.

Unwind by Neal Shusterman- And now we have arrived at the reason that I haven't finished We'll Meet Again. My friend Aimee absolutely blessed my life by sending me a copy of this book, and I have fallen in love. It. Is. So. Good. It's intense and it's sobering and it's thought provoking and it's absolutely wonderful. I can't wait to read the rest of the series.

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L I S T E N I N G

Car Radio- Twenty-Øne Piløts
I Won't Let You Go- Switchfoot
CAGES- NEEDTOBREATHE
Sun- Sleeping at Last
Here as in Heaven- Elevation Worship
How to Save a Life- The Fray
10,000 Miles- Sleeping at Last
Ireland- Legally Blonde
Stones Under Rushing Water- NEEDTOBREATHE
Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic- Sleeping at Last

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So, tell me- how has life been going for you lately? What's been making you smile? What have you been reading and listening to? I want to hear everything! HAVE AN ABSOLUTELY LOVELY DAY, MY FRIEND! ♥

Hello, Senior Year

I have had so much trouble writing this post. 

I've come back to this document time and time again over the course of the last four days, and here I am, on Wednesday, when this post is supposed to be published, still unsure of how to get the words out.

This post has been on my calendar for a month, yet I still don't know what to say and how to say it.

And honestly, I think it's because I still don't know how to feel.

Tomorrow is the first day of senior year. 

The final first day of high school. The culmination of the last eleven years.

Senior year.

The year that I've been looking up at for as long as I can remember. The seniors were always so intimidating, and now all of a sudden...I'm one of them. It doesn't feel like I should be here yet. I still feel like that quiet freshman, not someone who's old enough to drive and get a job and choose a college. I guess it's just weird to know for years that something's coming, and to finally be there.

It's almost like even though you know in your brain that yes, senior year is a part of life, you almost don't expect it to come. Which makes no sense, but it's the best way I know to describe it. I would say that in a way it feels right, because I've gone through the last three years, I've made it to this point, but it still doesn't. Maybe it's one of those things that you just have to get used to.

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I've always dreaded the thought of senior year coming. Whenever my friends would sigh and talk about how they were just so ready to graduate and be done, I would laugh and nod. Inwardly, however, I would think, I'm not. The thought of having to leave my safety bubble and go out into a whole new environment filled with new people and new experiences has always scared me to death. I'm a creature of habit. I hate change with everything in me, and graduating brings on every change imaginable.

And yet at the same time..I'm getting closer to being okay with it. Don't worry I'm still terrified. I haven't undergone a complete personality alteration. But I mean...everything changes constantly, whether you graduate or not. This summer has been full of things changing, and so honestly, graduating won't be a massive difference. It will be different, but I'm coming to terms with the fact that it won't be horrible and it won't be the end of the world. It will hold lots of new things, scary things, but also really good things. Opportunities and experiences. So for now I'm trying to focus on that. Which is totally just my way of avoiding thinking about all of the things and people I'm going to miss like crazy, but y'know, it works.

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I honestly don't know what this year is going to look like. I'm sure that it will be busy, and I'm sure it will be stressful, and there's a high likelihood that I'm going to be a nostalgic mess. But I really don't know all of the specifics yet, which is strange for an obsessive planner like myself. It's been kind of hard not knowing and having things change and whatnot, but I'm doing my best to just wait and see what the year has to hold. And naturally, me being me, I'm setting goals for myself. Whether or not I'll actually reach them, I don't know yet, but I'm going to set them. Maybe I'll do a post on that later? We'll see. But I'm trying to stay calm, and stay positive, and be excited. After all, senior year only happens once. And even if it doesn't meet a single one of my expectations, and even if it's a hot mess, train wreck of a year, I want to be excited, and I want to enjoy the year. I don't want to put so much pressure on anything that it stresses me out like crazy. I guess that's my biggest thing. I don't want to look back on senior year and just remember how stressful it was, y'know? I want to be able to have good memories of the year. 

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So here I am. Nervous and curious and wondering and excited and ready. As ready as I'll ever be, anyways. I'm thinking of following in Rachel's footsteps and doing a senior year updates series ever so often, if y'all would be interested in following along. I'm sure that it's going to be an adventure. 

Hello, Senior Year. Let's do this.