the most perfect day

Monday, April 29, 2019

Photo creds to the incredible Katie. Obsessed with her. ♥

So this happened. 

I can't quite pinpoint when exactly I first crossed paths with AbbieKate, and Mary Shelley. It had to have been sometime in 2015. I remember reading their blogs, and thinking that they seemed like ridiculously cool people, but not thinking much past that. It was spring of '16 when we really started talking, in a group chat of seven girls formed over, of all things, a breakfast food war. May 26th will mark three years of that group chat still going strong, and it has been one of the biggest blessings in a thousand different ways. 


As with most internet friendships, it wasn't long before we were dreaming of meeting up in person instead of just communicating through a screen. I can still remember being sprawled across the living room floor one sweet summer afternoon, sunshine bursting through the windows as we messaged back and forth, wondering how we could make it work. All seven of us, finally in one place. It was the most exciting dream, but despite our best efforts, that dream never quite made it to fruition.

Mary Shelley and I, however, realized quickly enough that, despite the vastness of the internet, we actually weren't too far away from each other. I still remember the moment that fell into place, and we started connecting the dots of mutual friends and shared experiences. April of '17 everything lined up, and a dream became a reality. Mary Shelley actually got to come see a show that I was in, and we finally became in-person friends, too. We've been able to go on lots of coffee dates since, and to this day she's one of my dearest friends with such a big piece of my heart. (peep the post that I wrote the summer after we first met.)

The first time that Abbie messaged me about actually trying to meet up, I'm pretty sure that I screamed. I was sitting in the floor at my grandparents' lake house, leaned up against the wrought iron bed in my room there. We tried a couple of times after that first message to make it work, but we were never able to sort out the logistics - we got so close, but the timing never worked out.


And then suddenly, this past winter, it all seemed to fall into place. Months became weeks, weeks became days, and before I knew it, I was power walking to a coffee shop where I knew that the Emmons sisters were waiting. I walked in, scanning the room before finally landing on their table. I ran over, and everything after that was pure bliss. We couldn't stop talking about how surreal it was, to go from seeing each other in Instagram stories and Youtube videos to sitting across the table from each other and talking about everything under the sun, laughing and taking pictures with pretty books.

The next day, once Mary Shelley was out of class and I got off of work, the four of us got together for dinner, and the whole world felt right. We wandered around the park, taking pictures to document the fact that we'd managed to get the four of us all in the same place at the same time, and then we went for pizza - we're all on team pineapple.

It was the absolute most soul-filling two days. It's hard to describe going from internet friends to in-person friends. It's the most surreal feeling, yet at the same time the most natural thing in the world, because you already know each other so well. We've gone through a lot together over the past three years, and I think that that's one of the most special things about the internet - you create bonds with people solely over who you are. You can't really be superficial about it, because you're simply connecting with another person. There's a level of honesty that comes from talking through a screen, and it leads to some of the most beautiful friendships.


These girls are so passionate, so driven, and just so completely lovely. They are some of the most inspiring people that I've ever known, with the biggest, most beautiful hearts. If the world was filled with more people like these three, we all would be a lot better off. Getting to spend time talking with them about their plans and projects and dreams is so beyond incredible. I am a firm believer that there is nothing better than spending time with people who are passionate about the same things that you are. These girls are so. ridiculously. talented. and getting to hear about all of the things that they're dreaming up was the highlight of my month. I cannot wait to see all that they do.

I could not be more grateful to have these three ladies in my life, to be able to talk with them and create alongside them and to be a part of their lives. Knowing them for the past three years has been the ultimate blessing, and the wait just made finally getting to hug them all the more special. As much as I've always wanted to meet them, the timing really did feel perfect. I am absolutely certain that it won't be the last time, but until then we'll keep rocking the long distance game, with lots of letters and packages, internet screaming and a heck of a lot of DM's. These girls have rocked my world in the best way possible, and if you have yet to be exposed to their incredible souls, you have no idea how much you have been missing out. Be sure that you follow them, because they are going to change the world.

If you remember my First Impressions Project, stay tuned for those coming soon. Writing them up was so much fun, and I can't wait for you to get a glimpse into the hearts of these girls. ♥


The most special of days, and the fullest of hearts. Gratitude upon gratitude that out of the millions upon millions of people to cross paths with on the internet, God gave me them. ♥


99 Things I Learned from Senior Year

Saturday, August 25, 2018


The 99 Things post series started at the end of my sophomore year, a collaboration with two of my dearest friends. (Rachel and Mary Shelley - you two forever have my heart.) A lover of routine, I've kept it up, now reaching what may be the final post in the series. Whether or not I'll keep this up into the college years, I really don't know yet, but I know that I love having these posts to look back on. Keeping up the Senior Saturday series with 99 Things that this whirlwind of a year taught me/reminded me.

1. You're capable of more than you think you are.
2. That being said, don't put yourself in a position where you're so exhausted and drained that everything is miserable.
3. Don't let someone who knows less about what you're doing than you do make you feel inadequate.
4. The happiest moment of your life will be when you're finally done with standardized testing.
5. DRINK WATER.
6. Sometimes it's okay to just eat a pop-tart for lunch alone in your car because #senioryear.
7. Get out of bed. Blare the Jesus music. You can do this.
8. No one cares what you look like besides you. Stop stressing.
9. The Legally Blonde soundtrack can get you through anything.
10. People who remind you that they're proud of you are the kind of people to keep close.
11. You. Are. Enough.
12. Watching your friends live out their dreams and just rock this life thing is the best feeling in the world.
13. God can turn any situation around, no matter how bad it looks.
14. You will be found.
15. Situations work out the way that they're supposed to, even when it looks impossible at the beginning.
16. Start shopping for your end of the semester stuff in January- prom dresses, graduation dresses, etc. You'll be so glad you did.
17. PLAN PLAN PLAN PLAN PLAN. I cannot emphasize that enough. Plan.
18. Comfort food might possibly be the only thing besides Jesus that gets you through the year and honestly it's okay we're all right there with you.
19. No matter how crazy things get, don't isolate yourself.
20. Stack your classes early in high school so that you have a light senior year. Just trust me.
21. Never say that "I'll never do _____." Jesus has a real sense of humor.
22. Cardigans are the best thing in the world.
23. Real friends stick with you even when life is crazy.
24. BE THOUGHTFUL.
25. Keep a running list of thank you notes that need to be written and try to get them in the mail as quickly as possible. It just makes life easier.
26. Don't feel guilty about letting yourself recharge. You can't function well if you don't take care of yourself.
27. You cannot be everything for everyone.
28. When God tells you not to do something, LISTEN.
29. Likewise, when God tells you to do something, LISTEN.
30. When in doubt, walk it out. (Prayer walking is even better.)
31. Survival without coffee is possible.
32. Leave your phone in another room when at all possible.
33. When online shopping, make sure it's returnable.
34. Sometimes, you have to be the one to speak up. Nothing will ever change if everyone stays silent.
35. Photographs are the single most precious memento you can have.
36. Go to prom. Just do it.
37. If you're going to get your nails done for prom, don't try to cram it in the day of prom. Do it the day before.
38. Sometimes you just need to sit in your car for an hour because it's the only place you can get some peace.
39. Have a go-to playlist for those mornings where you'd rather do literally anything than the things that you have on the agenda.
40. Routines save so much time.
41. The beach is quite literally the most therapeutic place in the world.
42. Ben Rector says it best - you can't make old friends. Cherish them.
43. If you don't write it down, you'll forget it. (You can't remember everything no matter how hard you try.)
44. Read for pleasure as much as you can.
45. You've Got Mail will never get old.
46. Prayer journaling will save. your. life.
47. Life is better in leggings.
48. Social media is literally pointless. Please don't let your life revolve around it.
49. Take the time to show people how much you appreciate them.
50. God plans out every tiny detail of your life. There's zero reason to stress. He's got you.
51. If you feel yourself getting sick, CHUG WATER. I swear, every time I do this, I'm 80% better the next day. Pretty sure I've almost given myself water poisoning in the process but it's fine.
52. No matter how much you strive to be independent, lean on people every once in a while. It's okay, I promise.
53. You can't put out good art if you don't consume good art.
54. Nothing brightens someone's day more than surprise snail mail.
55. Car shopping is quite possibly the most miserable process on planet earth.
56. If you use an online calendar/calendar app, be sure to set it so that it doesn't delete your appointments after they've passed. Just trust me.
57. When you get the opportunity to learn from someone more experienced than you, soak in every second.
58. Dump your phone regularly. Don't let full storage stop you from taking as many photos as you possibly can.
59. Joy is a choice.
60. NaNo is never easy, but some years are even rougher than others. Be proud of what you accomplish, even if it's not what you hoped.
61. Prayer >>>>>>>>
62. Sometimes it's going to seem like nothing is working out and everything is falling apart, but in reality, God's pulling it all together.
63. College stuff sneaks up on you SO FAST. No one tells you just how early things are actually due. Don't let it catch you by surprise.
64. Make sure that you find your calculator BEFORE midnight the night before the SAT. Otherwise a Walmart run will be in your near future.
65. Jeremy Jordan Broadway covers will bless your life.
66. Dual credit is the best idea. Do as much as you can.
67. Getting your senior photos taken is one of the most surreal feelings.
68. Friends who send you cat photos when they know you're upset are the best kind of people you can possibly have in your life.
69. Bread will get you through anything.
70. You know things are low when you find yourself crashed on the couch at one am with comfort food you don't even like but are eating anyways.
71. There is nothing on earth better than having a class cancelled.
72. When your brain is messy, clean your space. It helps so so much.
73. Start working on Christmas presents in October. Just do it.
74. Dramatic musical theatre songs (LES MIS!) make the best alarms.
75. Breathe breathe breathe.
76. Seeing the Lord work in your friends' lives is without a doubt the most incredible thing to watch.
77. God WILL provide.
78. Show the people who are important to you that they're important to you.
79. Senior year and sleep basically do not exist simultaneously but try not to die of sleep deprivation. Going to bed before one am every now and then is a solid decision.
80. Sometimes you just need to eat ice cream for lunch.
81. Glitter makes the world a better place.
82. If you're getting the same advice from literally everyone in your life that you trust, you should probably listen.
83. Push yourself to make time to do what you love.
84. Writing things out will help you to process.
85. People are going to frustrate you, they're going to drive you crazy- love is a choice. Love them anyways.
86. It really really really really really really really doesn't matter what people think. No one will ever be as critical of you as you are of yourself.
87. Stand up for what you believe in without holding back.
88. Not everyone's going to like you, and it isn't the end of the world. Still working on being okay with this.
89. Anxiety can feel debilitating. Push through anyways.
90. Internet friends are some of the most wonderful people.
91. If you want to simultaneously bawl and be amazed, watch Bandstand.
92. There is no better feeling than driving home.
93. Completely avoiding drama makes your life so much easier.
94. Wing your eyeliner and do the thing.
95. Keep a book with you at all times.
96. Sunflowers make everything better.
97. God just might give you exactly what you never dared to hope for.
98. Graduation is the most special day. Soak up every second.
99. Don't wish away senior year. Enjoy every second.

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Also! In case you missed it on Twitter, the winners of the blogiversary giveaway are...

Abigail Lennah
Hanne T
Amanda from SKG

Thank you so much to everyone who entered! I so appreciate you celebrating with me! 

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What did this year teach you?

Four Years of Totally Graced! // Survey, Giveaway + More!!

Monday, August 13, 2018



Grab some cake and settle in, because...

WE'RE CELEBRATING TOTALLY GRACED'S FOURTH BLOGIVERSARY!

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I suppose we should start with the obvious....what do you think of the new look?! I've been wanting to revamp the blog for SO LONG, but, well, senior spring basically ate me, and it didn't happen. Summer hit, and while I gained a small amount of time back, I thought it would be fun to wait to break out a new design until the blogiversary. Surprise! Do you like it?? I'm super happy with how it turned out (shoutout to Abby for saving my life with CSS help yesterday), and just really excited to have freshened up this space. I also updated my About page, and added an Archive page up top compiling some of my absolute favorite posts, so I'd love for you to check those out as well! 

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It's so crazy to me that it was four years ago that I sat down in my living room and opened up Blogger for the first time. I'd just turned fourteen, hadn't even started high school yet, and wanted to start a blog because I was obsessed with beauty YouTubers, but hated being on video. (So thankful for that. I cannot even imagine what the cringe level would have been if I had a series of old YouTube videos to look back on. Occasionally, I just have to thank God for my anxiety.)

So I made a blog- terrible design, cringe worthy posts, the works. I had absolutely no idea what I was doing, but I loved it anyways. It was my little space to do with whatever I pleased. I told exactly two friends that I was making it, then realized that the thought of people I actually knew reading it was nothing short of terrifying, and proceeded to keep it a secret project. I've never been the most confident person, far too eager to please, and there was such a freedom in having a space to create where I didn't have to give a thought to what anyone else would think of it. It was just mine. 

I didn't know how on earth to interact with other bloggers, or even find them. I knew that I wanted to be a part of the online community, but I didn't have the slightest idea how to begin. Slowly, I found a few other bloggers my age, but for the most part, the first year of blogging was just me and three or four occasional readers. 

Then, slowly but surely, I figured some things out. I finally got plugged into the blogging community, and found so many other bloggers creating such incredible things. My content slowly got stronger, although, let's be honest, it's always going to be messy. I launched social media pages specifically for the blog and got to engage with even more people on those platforms, and when Totally Graced turned two, it got its first facelift, which remained the design up until last night.

As of yesterday, this blog turned four, and I don't think that my mind can quite wrap itself around that fact yet. After I hit that publish button for the first time, Totally Graced became a pretty big part of my life. It chronicled the entirety of my high school years, and all of the ups and downs that came along with it. It's been my longest consistent project, and I'm so thankful that I have this blog to look back on. Blogging has given me a space to detach from the rest of my life, to be able to write and share and just do what I love without stressing out over whether or not it's perfect. That's what I've loved about this space the most, and why so few people that I interact with on a daily basis know that it even exists. As a person who does almost everything in her life with the mindset of "What will ____ think of this?", it's been so freeing to have this one thing that's just been for me, and for the people who've stumbled upon it and jumped on for the ride. 

I say a lot of that just for the sake of clarity, because I have had more people in my personal life end up finding out about this blog over the course of the past year, and I know that it's inevitable that more people will as well. (I'm finally beginning to get to the point where the thought of that doesn't just make me feel like I'm going to throw up, so that's progress.) So if you do know me and you're reading this, I just want you to know that no, the fact that I didn't share this with you does not have anything to do with you or how I feel about you. (I have literally had to try to explain to someone that my lack of sharing the blog with people does not mean that I don't love them.) It's solely because I just wanted to do it for myself, and I know that if I share it, I just adds too much pressure. I do hope that you can understand and respect that. ♥ Personally, I'm still praying that this stays my secret little abode forever, but that's just me. 

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So now here we are. Four years later. I'm eighteen, and headed into college in less than two weeks. Somehow, I love blogging even more than when I started, and you'd best believe that this blog isn't going anywhere. I'm so thankful for all that I've learned, and especially for all of the people I've met on this crazy ride. My blogging tribe is filled with so many incredibly special girls, and I am so grateful for every single one of you. You constantly encourage me, point me towards truth, and pour wisdom into my life, and I cannot thank you all enough for everything you have done for me. You ladies make everyone around you feel like they can take on the world, and I'm so lucky to be a part of that. Every time that I get the opportunity to meet one of you and give you a hug, I'm the happiest girl in the world. You have helped me to find my voice, and you constantly inspire me to chase my dreams with the same ferocity that you all do. Thanks for proving that online friends are real friends, too. Here's to many, many more years of group chats, snail mail, breakfast food wars, and dreaming of that blogger party we're all going to have one day.

I don't entirely know what the next year of blogging is going to look like yet. I know that I'm still going to blog as much as I can, but I also know that pretty soon, I'm going to be in a new season of life. Life is changing, and I guess that this blog and I are going to have to change a bit along with it. But hopefully any changes will all be for the better. I chronicled high school here; now I guess it's time to chronicle college, eh?

But I'm excited. Or trying to be. New seasons, new experiences, new things to create. I can't change it, so might as well run in headfirst. I'm excited to see everything that God has in store! So here's to the new, and all of the crazy that's undoubtedly coming with it. Let's tackle this. 
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Every year, I love sharing stats to see the growth over the years. I really don't pay a ton of attention to numbers, because like I said, I just blog because I enjoy it, but it's fun to see how we've grown.

First Blogiversary-
Pageviews- 8,046
Blogger Followers- 27
Email Followers- 0
Instagram- n/a
Pinterest- n/a
Twitter- n/a

Bloglovin'- n/a

Second Blogiversary-
Pageviews- 26,424
Blogger Followers- 65
Email Followers- 13
Instagram- 160
Pinterest- 37
Twitter- 60

Bloglovin'- n/a

Third Blogiversary-
Pageviews- 59,500
Blogger Followers- 132
Email Followers- 419 (pretty sure these have to be spam followers but hey)
Instagram-374
Pinterest- 110
Twitter- 365
Bloglovin'- 47

Fourth Blogiversary-
Pageviews- 82,300
Blogger Followers- 155
Email Followers- 1,145 (I swear these have to be spam)
Instagram- 458
Pinterest-130
Twitter- 570
Bloglovin'- 153

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One of my favorite things about blogiversaries is taking the opportunity to get some feedback on what's working, what isn't, and what you all would like to see in the future. Every year, I try to implement the feedback that you give, so it would be so helpful if you could take a few minutes to fill out this form and let me know how I can make this the best possible space. Thank you so much for taking the time to help me out! ♥
 



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And really, c'mon. What's a blogiversary without....


disclaimer....this isn't mine, it's something I received from Aaliyah. Isn't she the cutest?

THREE winners will receive a snail mail surprise! I say surprise because....well, I haven't even decided what officially will be inside. BUT IT'S GOING TO BE FUN! If you talk to anyone who receives snail mail from me on a regular basis, they'll tell you that I love sending what I like to call 'happiness bombs', which could quite literally contain anything from jewelry to Starbucks gift cards to bookmarks to stickers to GLITTER! So, if you want one of my trademark happiness bombs showing up in your mailbox, enter the giveaway below!

a Rafflecopter giveaway
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Thank you all so much for making the blogging world so beautiful. I love our crazy little community of artists, and I'm so grateful to have the opportunity to be a part of it.  It's been the best four years. Here's to many more! 

Senior Spring

Saturday, August 4, 2018



Senior spring was a time that I will never be able to properly put into words.

It was a season of early mornings and late nights. Of more rehearsals that I would have thought possible, of running and dancing and singing with everything we had. It was a time of roles I'd dreamt of, of the opportunity to work underneath pure genius.

It was a season of friendship. Of practically living with my best friend and somehow never getting sick of each other. Of putting our all into maintaining relationships, no matter the exhaustion and lack of time. Of 'how are you' texts and 'tell me about your day' phone calls. People who were always there for an encouraging word. Of learning who cared enough to keep things strong, even when life was crazy.

Senior spring was way too much shopping. It was wondering why on earth it's so difficult to find a white dress. (Hint: Altar'd State is your best friend.) It was prom dress option after prom dress option before finally deciding on the dress I fell in love with from day one, of hours spent looking through dance costumes and swearing that I would never online shop again as long as I live.

It was prom. Of not even knowing if I really wanted to go, but having the best time. Prom was swing dancing with old friends and endless photobooth strips and dance circles and going out to eat until two in the morning. It was singing along to all of the songs at the top of our lungs like we didn't have rehearsal in the morning. It was swirling skirts and flying curls and people I love and laughter.

Senior spring was the most bittersweet. It was knowing that things would never be completely the same after May 12th came around, and fighting to enjoy every moment of it because of that. To soak in the minutes, the details, the things I never want to forget. Hugs and conversations scribbled in the pages of my mind forever.

It was hard. It was exhaustion almost all the time and feeling like nothing would ever be good enough, like would never be good enough. That I'd bitten off more than I could chew but had to make it all perfect anyways, no matter what it took. Thinking that I had to be everything for everyone, and being determined to do it. Determination, a wonderful character trait that walks such a fragile line.

It was a season of learning. Of learning that I can do more than I would have thought, but learning that I can't do it all, and learning that that's okay. Of trying to remember that I can't be a superhero, and that no one expects that. Of learning to breathe through it and keep at it.

It was endless spontaneity despite the craziest of schedules. Pockets of time for adventures, ice cream for lunch and thirty minute road trips to nowhere. Fitting in as much as possible with the 24 hours given.

Senior spring was dreaming way too big, and fighting to make it happen anyways. Creativity thrust into overdrive. Pushing and working and going going going to make it a reality. Hours upon hours upon hours alone in the studio, the music permanently ingrained in my memory. Scribbling down notations at the most frantic of speeds, desperate to remember every fleeting idea. It was endless gratitude for the love and patience and gigantic hearts of the ones who were a part of it, of the senior project that I still can't believe actually happened.

It was a season of provision, in every possible aspect. Of opportunity beyond my wildest dreams. Of Jesus knowing the depths of my heart and whispering yes. Seeing the Lord's hand in everything, opening up doors for the future while keeping me rooted in the moment and helping me get through where I was right then. Holding me up and keeping me grounded while giving me glimpses of the joy and blessings in store.

It was tears. Tears of exhaustion and feelings of inadequacy and fear, but tears of relief and pure gratitude for the kind souls who helped make the load a little lighter. family. the second momma crew. friends who are family in every sense but blood. {cyrus freaking fontaine who saved my senior project + sanity simultaneously and whose praises I will never stop singing. go buy every song he's ever written.}

It was a season that culminated in one big, wonderful night that I'll never forget. Surrounded by nearly everyone I loved, in my favorite place in the world, dancing on that stage one final time. We took it all to the next level as theatre kids tend to do, and walked down the aisle to Don't Stop Believing. That song and the many others of that night (theatre kids, remember?) will forever have the biggest space in my heart.

Senior spring was overwhelming. Overwhelming stress, overwhelming kindness, overwhelming exhaustion, overwhelming gratitude, overwhelming joy. Overwhelming is the only way to describe it. And maybe that's why it's a season that I'll never be able to adequately put into words for anyone, no matter how desperately I want to throw it all onto the page. Sometimes, God's goodness is so grand that it can't be described, and I'm just grateful to have lived it.

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I know that this was so long ago, and doing a senior recap in August is the strangest thing. But the season was so crazy, and in the months since, I haven't been able to write anything that I felt did it justice. So now, almost three months later, I'm processing and taking the time to record it. This blog has followed me since the beginning of freshman year, so it feels wrong not to wrap high school up. Hopefully you all don't mind too much. ♥ Thus, I'm going to have a little baby series running on the blog this month called Senior Saturdays. If you're heading into senior year as I know quite a few people are, hopefully you'll particularly enjoy these, and if you've already graduated, maybe they'll give you a bit of a trip down memory lane. Either way, thanks for popping by this little space of mine. Love you lots. xx

sweet summertime

Saturday, June 30, 2018


Hello, sweet summertime.

I've missed you.

I always miss you. When winter's gray skies make the whole world feel cold and tired, I count down the days until your warmth and light. Until the sun loosens the knots that the last nine months have wrapped around what feels like every fiber of my being.

You're different this year. Not in the way that you were last year, when the summer maybes were leaping in circles around me. But different all the same. This year, you come with busy schedules and new adventures and a brain full of questions.

This year, as I'm letting the summer thoughts flow out of my brain and onto the screen, things aren't quite as different as I thought they would be a year ago. I'm basically in the same place. Right now, I'm lying on my bed, pecking away at my laptop while Sleeping at Last plays in the background, exactly like last year when I wrote my summer blog post. My fall, while different, isn't a whole new world compared to fall of last year (for which I am eternally grateful).

I suppose that when I looked towards summer 2018, I expected to be living in a world rocked with change. I wrote the words "nothing will be the same", and I believed them. By the absolute grace of God, those words did not end up ringing true.

But things are still different in so many ways, and the hater of change in me doesn't quite know what to do with that yet. I didn't mean for this to turn into one of those posts, though, one where I'm freaking out about change and life and everything in between. That will, no doubt, come at the end of the summer.

For now, we aren't there yet. We still have another month of summer, another month before the new normal kicks in. For now, I'm just happy where I am. Working on projects and setting things up and spending time with people and attempting to get some rest in during the time in-between. Loving the sunlight streaming in through the windows and the warmth of their rays.

Sweet summertime, you will forever be my favorite. It's good to see you again.

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Hey there, friends.

I'm back. ♥

Senior Updates IV

Tuesday, March 6, 2018

because cinnamon rolls are the b e s t
Everyone tells you that senior year flies by, but I really underestimated the truth of that statement. This year has gone by so. quickly. I can't believe that in two and a half months, I'll be finished with high school. It's completely surreal, and honestly, I'm trying not to think about it too hard yet.

Life since my last senior update has officially reached the height of insanity. I have never been this busy in my life, but I'm loving all of the various sources of craziness, even if they do leave me exhausted on a semi-regular basis. It's a lot, but I'm just really thankful that my last semester of high school has worked out in such a way that I can do so many things that I love.

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L A T E L Y

I feel like I have SO MANY things to update you guys on! My last Senior Update post was in mid-December, and it's insane how much has happened since then. I really wanted to do an update at the end of January, but I just couldn't get the post written up. So, I'm just going to attempt to summarize everything that's taken place over the last few months, and hope that it comes out semi-coherently. 

January was consumed by prepping for a musical theatre competition. My group competed with the piece You Will Be Found from Dear Evan Hansen. I performed in the piece, and also helped to choreograph it. It was such an incredible experience. If you've never heard the song before, you absolutely should go listen to it. It's a really powerful number, and getting to perform that number onstage was something that I'll never forget. Honestly, just getting to be a part of such a moving performance was enough, but what was even more mind blowing was....we took first! I could have cried, I was so happy. My last high school competition could not have possibly been more wonderful.

The same week of the competition, I auditioned for a production of Beauty and the Beast. I told myself going in that there was absolutely no way that I would be cast, that I was just auditioning for the experience. Long story short, I ended up getting a callback, and finding out the next day that I was cast as not only a Silly Girl (dream role!), but a wolf and a napkin as well. Literally three roles that I've always wanted to play in that show. I've actually worked on a production of Beauty and the Beast once before, and I'm thrilled to have the opportunity to be doing this show again. It's one of my all-time favorites.

The crazy part of joining Beauty and the Beast was that it meant that I'm now in not one, but TWO musicals. At the same time. Running the same month. I've never done this before, and it was probably a terrible decision on my part, seeing as I'm rehearsing roughly 28 hours a week, but it's so much fun. I can't think of a better way to spend my senior spring than surrounding myself with theatre.

Senior spring also means TONS of college stuff. I applied to two colleges, was accepted to both of them, and have made my decision. I'm really happy with it, and I'm excited to see what next semester is like. Now it's just a matter of finalizing a decision on a major and getting used to the fact that I'm almost a college student. What. (!!!!!)

The writing world has been rather bleak, due to the fact that I've been so busy that I've barely slept, much less had a chance to write. I did, however, write a short fiction piece that was a little piece of my soul, and I published it here on the blog. (My first time posting fiction!) If you missed that, you can read it here. ♥

Life is also filled with lots and lots of graduation planning. Let's just say, fine arts kids don't do anything halfway, and I'm pretty pumped.

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G O A L S

I'm trying not to set too many goals for myself, since time is scarce and I don't want to end up beating myself up over not accomplishing everything that I want to. But you all know that I'm way too Type A to not set ANY goals. So I'm aiming for a balance of realistic, yet productive. Let's give this a shot. 

-Journal journal journal. I've been journaling on a semi-consistent basis, but I want to do it even more. I want to be sure that I have all of these memories saved forever.

-Take as many photos as possible. Again with the memory hoarding. I want to record all of the crazy memories of this semester. 

-Stay organized. There are so many things to balance, and I don't want to find myself at the last minute scrambling to get things together. I've really been working to organize everything ahead of time, and I want to continue doing this.

-Find a prom dress! I found one that I really like, but it's a little more expensive than I'd hoped to spend. 

-Get my license. I've been meaning to do it for forever, and it's one of those things that I've just got to get done.

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R E A D

My reading life has been nothing short of horrible, if we're being honest. The craziness of life has completely stolen the little reading time that I had. I've been trying to keep a bit of steady reading in my life by keeping a book with me at all times, so I'll read a chapter in between classes or while waiting for rehearsal to start. It's definitely helping me to continue to read consistently, but goodness, I wish that I had the time to just sit down and devour a book in an afternoon like I used to. Oh well. I haven't read anything lately that I've absolutely loved, so if you happen to have any super solid recommendations, send them my way!

Since my last Senior Update, I've read......

-The Color Project by Sierra Abrams : At some point, I'm going to have to do a whole post on this book. It is an utter masterpiece.

-The Cage-maker by Nicole A. Seitz : An amazingly detailed historical fiction full of mystery, intrigue, and drama. 

-Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis : I'm so glad that I finally read this book. It's so good. Full of so much truth and such brilliant perspectives. I highly recommend taking notes as you read this one- you'll be glad that you did.

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L I S T E N I N G

Truce - Twenty-One Pilots
Atlas: Daughter - Sleeping at Last
You Will Be Found - Dear Evan Hansen
Atlas: Two - Sleeping at Last
So Will I - Hillsong United
Atlas: Taste - Sleeping at Last

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So, how has life been treating you lately? How's your semester going? What exciting things have you been up to? What have you been reading? Listening to? What's the best thing that's happened to you lately? I want to hear all about it. ♥

the sun will rise and we will try again

Wednesday, January 31, 2018

no, i'm not at the beach. just always dreaming of it. 

the sun will rise, and we will try again. 

The first few weeks of 2018 were nothing short of utter chaos. They were messy and full and complicated and frustrating and, quite frankly, exhausting. My mind grew more and more tangled and knotted up, resulting in radio silence here on the blog. It's hard to put out new content when there's such an overload being shoved in your brain that you can't quite organize it all. But at the same time, writing is how I process, so when I can't/don't write, it just seems to make things worse.

There were quite a few moments in the first few weeks of January where I found myself sitting in the middle of my bedroom floor, staring at the ground, not quite knowing what to do next. Usually when I get overwhelmed, I feel like I do an okay job of barreling through, but this time around I thought I was going to go crazy. It just felt like one thing after another, an assault of genuine insanity and stress and chaos that didn't seem to have an end in sight.

but the sun will rise, and we will try again. 

Twenty-One Pilots always seems to know what to say. Over and over again, day after day, that line kept popping into my head. The sun will rise, and we will try again. The thing about life is that anything going on can only last for so long. Good or bad, life is a constant cycle of change, and with every new day, there's a new chance for things to look up a bit.

It doesn't always feel that way in the moment, but it's true. Even in the night, there's always the slightest sparkle of a star. There's that moment of falling asleep in the darkness and waking up to the ground covered in freshly fallen snow.

the sun will rise, and we will try again. 

The beginning of the month may have had a bit of a rough start, but goodness gracious, is the sun rising. Even amidst chaos, there are so many blessings, and I think that's the most encouraging part about it. It's crazy to look and see how messy things were a few weeks ago, and then to be able to look the ridiculously amazing things that have happened just in the past week. Life is such a constant ebb and flow, and when you finally find the streams in the desert, it's the most wonderful feeling.

So, I guess that's the point of all of this rambling. Just to remind you that even if things look pretty crappy where you are currently, you're not going to be stuck in that forever. You might be there longer than you'd like, but it will grow you, and you'll come out of it and find yourself somewhere that you never dreamed of making it to. Tomorrow, the sun will rise, and you will try again. And you'll keep trying, every day after that, until you blink and the bright blue of the sky finally breaks through.

The sun's going to keep rising. And we're going to keep trying.

Let's do this, friends. Let's tackle February head on. God's got us. Let's do it.

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I'm hoping that now that I'm back to the blogger world, I'll be back with a bit more consistency. Hopefully in my next post or so, I'll explain exactly WHY life is so crazy right now, but for now I'll just say that I've missed this corner of the internet dearly. How has the year started off for you?? I miss you all so much. Fill me in, huh? ♥

Senior Updates III

Thursday, December 14, 2017

my heart ♥

Finally being back at my laptop, typing away at a blog post feels so good. I've missed the blogging world a lot. No matter how crazy life gets, this is always my home, and being back here just feels right.

Life since my last senior update has been insane in every way possible, but it's been filled with blessings upon blessings, and I am oh so grateful. Thinking back over everything that has happened is so overwhelming, and I'm just so thankful.

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L A T E L Y

The main thing that went on since my last Senior Update was my theatre group's Christmas show. Oh my goodness. It was crazy and hectic, and a lot of blood, sweat, and tears went into it (quite literally), but I could not have asked for a more wonderful experience. I got to see pieces that I'd dreamed of come to fruition before my eyes, and I feel like God was so evident throughout the entire process. I could ramble about it all for hours; my heart aches just thinking about it. But I'll keep it simple. It was perfect.

As you all know, NaNo was a thing. I've already rambled about that in my NaNo recap post, but I'll just say that it definitely was a huge part of the month of November for me. Lots of late nights spent typing away at my laptop, but I'm happy to have written so much, and to have been able to do it with some fantastic humans.

Thanksgiving also took place, obviously. It was a really lovely, quiet day, exactly what I needed amidst all of the chaos of wrapping up the semester.

The semester has come to an end, which is super weird. Finals were last week, so as of now I'm on Christmas break. I still can't entirely wrap my head around the fact that I only have one semester of high school left. I'm not sure that I want to wrap my head around it quite yet, if we're being honest.

And hey- WE GOT SNOW! It was super random and surprising, and the timing was somewhat terrible, but it was magical all the same. We never get snow in early December here, so it was definitely a huge shock, but it was fun to see the world covered in white for a few days.

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G O A L S

-Get myself organized for Christmas! I have barely shopped at all this season; it's terrible. I am so horrifically behind. My mind will be so much more at ease once I have gifts bought and wrapped and under the tree.

-Read again. With all of the craziness of the past few months, I haven't read as much as I would have liked, and I miss it desperately. I can't wait to finally get the chance to curl up with a book.

-Journal journal journal. The more that I do it, the more that I love it.

-Take the new time that I have to organize life and clear my head. I'm so thankful to finally have the chance to get some things done that have been nagging me for ages, to clean up my room, to just be able to focus on things that I want to focus on, not things that are due.

-Enjoy the Christmas season. Most of all, I just want to enjoy the month. December is such a magical time of year, and I don't want to let myself get bogged down with to-do's like I have the tendency to do. I'd love to just enjoy it. 

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R E A D

This is so sad, but I have read almost nothing since my last Senior Update. I read God and Ronald Reagan for school, and I'm working my way through Mere Christianity, but that's about it. Now that my life suddenly has a lot less in it, I'm hoping to pummel through a bunch of books. I won't make my reading challenge for the year, but I want to get closer. My aunt gave me a copy of The Color Project for Christmas, and I am beyond excited to read it. 

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L I S T E N I N G

Hope Is The Anthem- Switchfoot
Overcome- Elevation Worship
I Won't Let You Go- Switchfoot
99 Red Balloons- Sleeping at Last
Venus- Sleeping at Last 

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How is life going for you guys? Are you excited for Christmas? Any fun plans? What have you been loving lately? What's been making you smile? I want to hear all about it. ♥

Senior Updates II

Monday, November 13, 2017

sunsets are forever my favorite thing. ♥


WHEW. How have we already made it to November?? Mind = Blown. This semester has flown by. Like, in my head, it's still September. But now we're almost at Thanksgiving? I don't understand.

Overall, the semester has gone well. It's been beyond crazy. I honestly can't remember a time where I've had SO MUCH going on. It's been a lot to balance, and the overwhelm has been so real, but it's been good. Super thankful for everything, even when it's chaotic.

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L A T E L Y

If you follow me on Twitter (shameless self promo), then you know that I'm attempting NaNo again this year! I'm still honestly not sure if this was a wonderful decision or a terrible one. I really loved it last year, but this year hasn't gone quite as smoothly. I don't know if it's the story, me, or both, but it just hasn't gone as well. Here's to lots of sprints to knock the rest of the 50K out!

Theatre wise, things have been CRAZY. Last month, I crewed/prop mastered a murder mystery play, which was so much fun. We got to play around with lots of fake blood, and I was THRIVING. xD Now I'm in the midst of Christmas prep, which has been a lot of work, but super fun. I'm actually getting to choreograph a piece for our show, I'm in another piece that involves dancing with massive wings and being flipped upside down, and I also have my first-ever solo dance. We're also in the midst of competition prep, and I've been asked to choreograph that piece as well. I'm so beyond excited for these pieces, but it's definitely nerve-wracking!

I'm doing Thankfulness Thursday posts on the blog again this year! I always love this series, and it makes me so happy when you guys join in. If you decide to take part, be sure to send me the link to your post, and I'll share it!

We had the chance to escape to the beach for a few days, which was wonderful. The whole trip was filled with so many Jesus blessings, and it was the best weekend I've had it quite a long time.

I've FINALLY gotten back into journaling, which has been awesome. It's so good for me, I really need to make it more of a priority.

I also got a job last month! I'm working at this adorable local bookstore, and I'm really enjoying it. I've always wanted to work at a bookstore, so I'm so excited to finally be getting to do it!

School has thankfully been fairly low-key, for which I am SO thankful. Super weird that there are only a couple of weeks left. I'm currently trying to figure out my classes for next semester- my last semester of high school. Not going to think about that right now....

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G O A L S

-COMPLETE NANO. I am so determined, y'all. I have to finish this.

-Catch up on snail mail. If you've written me snail mail and I haven't responded yet, I'M SORRY I LOVE YOU I PROMISE. I'm going to write you back, I promise!!

-Start Christmas shopping. The fact that it's actually time to think about Christmas presents is crazy, but I really don't want to wait until the last minute this year.

-READ. I am so behind on my reading challenge. There's pretty much no way I'm going to complete it, haha, which KILLS ME. Ugh. But I'm going to get AS CLOSE AS POSSIBLE I AM DETERMINED.

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R E A D - O C T O B E R

speaking of reading...

The Beautiful Lost by Luanne Rice- I actually won this book in a giveaway! I had mixed feelings on it. Overall, it was a good book, very bittersweet, but a bit odd. Not great, not terrible. 

Peter Pan by J.M. Barrie- It was about time for me to read this! Such a classic.

All My Sons by Arthur Miller- I had to read this for school, but actually enjoyed it. It's an extremely well-written play, with a super interesting premise. 

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L I S T E N I N G

Dark Horse- Sleeping at Last
Earth- Sleeping at Last
Overcome- Elevation Worship
Countdowns- Sleeping at Last
Everything to Win- Anastasia Broadway Soundtrack
Mess of Me- Switchfoot
HAPPINESS- Acoustic- NEEDTOBREATHE
Who I'd Be- Shrek Broadway Soundtrack
I'll Keep On- NF
If You Want Love- NF

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So, how's life going for you? What's the best thing that's happened to you lately? I HOPE YOUR DAY IS GOING WONDERFULLY!! ♥


Senior Updates I

Friday, October 6, 2017


It's already a month and a half into senior year, and the fact that I'm a senior still hasn't gotten any less weird. It's been crazy, and things have gotten super overwhelming recently, but overall it's gone pretty well. I know that soon, I'm going to blink and the semester is going to be over, and then I'm going to blink again and find myself at graduation, so I just want to try to enjoy everything as it comes.

I'm sorry if this post isn't remotely coherent my brain is so fried.

If you know anything about me, you know that I'm a complete memory hoarder. One of the things that I knew at the beginning of the year was that I wanted to try my best to remember everything that happens this year. I was inspired by my lovely friend Rachel's series last year to write a series of senior year updates here on the blog. I apologize in advance if they bore you to death, but I'm excited to be able to look back on these later.

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L A T E L Y

School has been going well so far. I have a fairly light load for senior year, thank goodness, and classes have been going well for the most part. I've been doing a decent job of getting assignments done early instead of waiting until the last minute, and it's definitely saving my sanity. Here's hoping that this lasts for the rest of the year!

because gifs just make things better

Theatre wise, things have been busy prepping for our fall play. I'm in charge of props, which I always love doing. It's crazy, but it's a lot of fun. We only have a couple weeks left, which always is nerve wracking, but it's super exciting! We've also started working on some choreography pieces for our Christmas show, and I'm pumped. I think they're going to be really, really good. Fingers crossed!

Here on the blog, I've been kind of absent, which I hate, but I've had to devote my attention to other things, and I'm learning that that's okay. I did share two posts that I really loved, though, so if you missed them, you should totally check them out. For Suicide Awareness Month, I joined with Elissa for her "Stay" series, and shared something that's super close to my heart. Then, later in the month...I GOT TO MEET AIMEE!! It was the most wonderful thing ever, and I miss her already. ♥

In smaller happy life-y things, we had a bouquet of sunflowers in our kitchen for a week, and it added so much sunshine to life. I finally managed to find a planner that I love, and that's just been an overall highlight. Elevation Worship's music is a blessing to life and basically is what keeps me sane at this point. A terrible group project is *finally* coming to an end, and I could cry tears of joy. Overall, my schedule has been ridiculously busy, but it's been peppered with lots of small, happy moments, so I'm thankful for that.

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G O A L S

-Rewrite rewrite rewrite rewrite REWRITE. So far it's not going super well, but I really want to get this second draft finished.

-Outline for NaNo. I haven't decided which project I want to work on yet, but I'm determined to take part in NaNo again. 

-Survive the SAT. I'm taking it a second time, and I can officially say that standardized testing is the worst.

-LOTS OF SNAIL MAIL!! I have so many people that I want to send some snail mail, but I just haven't had the chance yet. Several super sweet friends sent me things this past month, and I hope you all know that you made me cry happy tears and I love you very much. :') ♥

-College apps. They have to happen and I'm absolutely dreading it, but it's got to be done. 

-Start a habit tracker. I finally got a new planner (!!!!), and it comes with a few sheets of graph paper every month, so I want to use those pages to start a couple bullet journal type pages, including a habit tracker.  

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R E A D - S E P T E M B E R

Mr. Darcy's Daughters by Elizabeth Aston- Not a bad book, but not one of my absolute favorites. It's written very stylistically similar to Austen, but it just wasn't a book that I loved.

The Glass Menagerie by Tennessee Williams- I had to read this play for school. It's actually really good, with a ton of fantastic subtext. Naturally, reading it for school always dulls things a bit because you have to worry about whether you're comprehending it correctly, but it really is a good play.

A Farewell to Arms by Ernest Hemingway- I've wanted to read this forever, but I was really disappointed. I wanted to like it so badly, but I just didn't enjoy it at all.

The Devil Wears Prada by Lauren Weisberger- Honestly, I loved this book. It's not a super deep read or anything, and if you're looking for a clean book, this isn't the best option, but oh my goodness it is hilarious. It was just so entertaining, I couldn't help but love it. A definite guilty pleasure.

Dancing for Degas by Kathryn Wagner- I ended up DNF'ing this one. It just wasn't a book that I enjoyed. The writing style wasn't my favorite, and the plot went in a far different direction than what I expected. Just not one that I was a fan of.

We'll Meet Again by Mary Higgins Clark- I'm still in the middle of this one, but so far it's really good. I love Mary Higgins Clark novels, and this one has not disappointed.

Unwind by Neal Shusterman- And now we have arrived at the reason that I haven't finished We'll Meet Again. My friend Aimee absolutely blessed my life by sending me a copy of this book, and I have fallen in love. It. Is. So. Good. It's intense and it's sobering and it's thought provoking and it's absolutely wonderful. I can't wait to read the rest of the series.


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L I S T E N I N G

Car Radio- Twenty-Øne Piløts
I Won't Let You Go- Switchfoot
CAGES- NEEDTOBREATHE
Sun- Sleeping at Last
Here as in Heaven- Elevation Worship
How to Save a Life- The Fray
10,000 Miles- Sleeping at Last
Ireland- Legally Blonde
Stones Under Rushing Water- NEEDTOBREATHE
Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic- Sleeping at Last

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So, tell me- how has life been going for you lately? What's been making you smile? What have you been reading and listening to? I want to hear everything! HAVE AN ABSOLUTELY LOVELY DAY, MY FRIEND! ♥

The First Impressions Project #2 // Aimee

Saturday, September 23, 2017

hello yes don't i have such a cute fren

Sometimes, internet friends become in-person friends, and it's the most wonderful thing ever. 

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Honestly, I could not tell you how I started talking to Aimee if my life depended on it. Neither of us can remember. We've been reading each other's blogs for over a year, but I feel like it was really only in the last six months that we started to talk a lot. (Aimee, if I'm completely wrong here please forgive me.) This began, as many fantastic internet friendships do, through Twitter. We soon after realized that we had a mutual love for writing letters, and Twitter developed into snail mail. Then, through a rather complicated chain of events, we realized that we were going to end up within a couple of hours of each other, and The Great Fren Meetup was planned. 

It was the absolute most lovely thing. 

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Last month, I posted about getting to hang out with Mary Shelley. A lot of you seemed to enjoy this post, which I dubbed The First Impressions Project, and so I thought that I'd bring you along for my adventure with Aimee. (Because you all need to see what a fantastic human she is.)

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Aimee is one of the coolest, most genuine humans that I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. Some people you just click with, and Aimee is one of those people. I learned lots of things in the four hours that we got to hang out. I learned that we have the same Starbucks order. (A java chip frappuccino, in case you're curious.) I learned that she is the absolute QUEEN of Pinterest, and if you are not following her, you need to be, because her boards are so aesthetic, I can't handle it. I learned that we both have a habit of sitting in chairs any way but the traditional way. I learned that she is much better at taking selfies than I am. And I learned that she is just overall an absolutely wonderful person. (Even though I already knew that tbh.) Aimee is one of the most passionate, driven people that I've ever known, and I love that about her. She told me about her different projects, and it was honestly the coolest thing to listen to all of her amazing ideas. You're going to see her novels in a bookstore one day, I guarantee it. She is honest and straightforward and blunt, but she is also so super kind. She has an endless list of book recommendations, and talking stories with her is one of the most fun things ever. She is so encouraging and will get super excited about your stories with you and for some crazy reason get mad at you when you're being mean to the lovely characters. She will also then discuss the best forms of hidden knives with you, so she has no room to talk. xD I could ramble for ages about how unbelievably awesome Aimee is, but we'd be here all day, so I will just say this- I am so thankful to have her as a friend. She is such a lovely human, and if you don't know her, you are missing out. I love you so much, Aimee! ♥

↠↠ FOLLOW HER↞↞




Hello, Senior Year

Wednesday, August 23, 2017


I have had so much trouble writing this post. 

I've come back to this document time and time again over the course of the last four days, and here I am, on Wednesday, when this post is supposed to be published, still unsure of how to get the words out.

This post has been on my calendar for a month, yet I still don't know what to say and how to say it.

And honestly, I think it's because I still don't know how to feel.

Tomorrow is the first day of senior year. 

The final first day of high school. The culmination of the last eleven years.

Senior year.

The year that I've been looking up at for as long as I can remember. The seniors were always so intimidating, and now all of a sudden...I'm one of them. It doesn't feel like I should be here yet. I still feel like that quiet freshman, not someone who's old enough to drive and get a job and choose a college. I guess it's just weird to know for years that something's coming, and to finally be there.

It's almost like even though you know in your brain that yes, senior year is a part of life, you almost don't expect it to come. Which makes no sense, but it's the best way I know to describe it. I would say that in a way it feels right, because I've gone through the last three years, I've made it to this point, but it still doesn't. Maybe it's one of those things that you just have to get used to.

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I've always dreaded the thought of senior year coming. Whenever my friends would sigh and talk about how they were just so ready to graduate and be done, I would laugh and nod. Inwardly, however, I would think, I'm not. The thought of having to leave my safety bubble and go out into a whole new environment filled with new people and new experiences has always scared me to death. I'm a creature of habit. I hate change with everything in me, and graduating brings on every change imaginable.

And yet at the same time..I'm getting closer to being okay with it. Don't worry I'm still terrified. I haven't undergone a complete personality alteration. But I mean...everything changes constantly, whether you graduate or not. This summer has been full of things changing, and so honestly, graduating won't be a massive difference. It will be different, but I'm coming to terms with the fact that it won't be horrible and it won't be the end of the world. It will hold lots of new things, scary things, but also really good things. Opportunities and experiences. So for now I'm trying to focus on that. Which is totally just my way of avoiding thinking about all of the things and people I'm going to miss like crazy, but y'know, it works.

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I honestly don't know what this year is going to look like. I'm sure that it will be busy, and I'm sure it will be stressful, and there's a high likelihood that I'm going to be a nostalgic mess. But I really don't know all of the specifics yet, which is strange for an obsessive planner like myself. It's been kind of hard not knowing and having things change and whatnot, but I'm doing my best to just wait and see what the year has to hold. And naturally, me being me, I'm setting goals for myself. Whether or not I'll actually reach them, I don't know yet, but I'm going to set them. Maybe I'll do a post on that later? We'll see. But I'm trying to stay calm, and stay positive, and be excited. After all, senior year only happens once. And even if it doesn't meet a single one of my expectations, and even if it's a hot mess, train wreck of a year, I want to be excited, and I want to enjoy the year. I don't want to put so much pressure on anything that it stresses me out like crazy. I guess that's my biggest thing. I don't want to look back on senior year and just remember how stressful it was, y'know? I want to be able to have good memories of the year. 

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So here I am. Nervous and curious and wondering and excited and ready. As ready as I'll ever be, anyways. I'm thinking of following in Rachel's footsteps and doing a senior year updates series ever so often, if y'all would be interested in following along. I'm sure that it's going to be an adventure. 

Hello, Senior Year. Let's do this. 
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