Hi friends - Happy Thanksgiving. :-)

Thanksgiving is always a quiet one over here, and that's exactly how I like it. I've been slammed as of late with all of the chaos of graduation (only two weeks away! what?!), and have been so looking forward to a quieter pace, even just for a day. 

The trees are more and more bare every time that I drive through the mountains, and I feel as though I'm living in an in-between, not here nor there. November always feels like that, I think, but even more so this year, with so much on the verge of changing and becoming new. I haven't decided if I like that yet. 

But for now, it's Thanksgiving, and my world is calm. And that is perfectly fine with me. :-)

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Last year, for one of my Thankfulness Thursday posts, I wrote about moments of oblivion amidst the chaos that was 2020. Oblivion wasn't quite the right word - because let's be honest, we were all too aware of just about everything last year. But amidst the mess, there were moments in which the world didn't feel quite so terrible - moments where the hard wasn't quite so consuming. I wrote that those moments were what I wanted to remember of the year - not the moments of worry or hurt or exhaustion, but the moments of peace, of joy, of normalcy. 

I'd be lying if I said that I've managed to rewire my view of 2020 enough to look back on it with fondness - the 2020 Christmas ornament that I banned from my grandmother's Christmas tree can speak to that. (But come on, you can't tell me that thing would be a good omen for the holiday season. You just can't.) It remains a year that I would be all too happy to forget, no question about it. But looking back on the words that I wrote last year, there were so many moments that I'm grateful for, even if they felt far too few and far between. I don't know if a single post has ever transported me back to a litany of moments so quickly. 

I can't say I quite have the words for 2021 yet. I'm grateful that it's been lighter than 2020 was, but gosh it's been a rough one all the same. Still, I want to remember the good. I want to remember just how much  has been to be grateful for, even amidst it all. And so, a new tradition begins - of hanging on to those sweet moments of peace and oblivion, no matter where they're found. 

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The new year begins. We're tired and we're sad and we're worn, but we blast Taylor Swift and start new traditions, and ring in the new year on the floor with a jigsaw puzzle. We hold on to hope. 

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My mom and I road trip, just the two of us. The day is hard, but we drive into the sunset and play all of our favorite songs, and I think I could live in this moment.

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Early February holds a morning that's just about perfect. The sun is shining, and my mom and sister and I go on a museum adventure. It's a gift in about a thousand ways. 

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We play games with my grandparents and everything feels right again.

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It's early, early March, but it's eighty degrees, and secretly I think the south knows I need it. (God knew I needed it.) I read in the sun. We get the best news that day, and I refuse to believe it's not related.

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Spring comes again. I don't know why I always doubt it. 

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My kids my kids my kids. God, I love my kids. It's not oblivion, no, but it's joy. They gave me a shirt so that I'd remember them, but how could I ever forget?

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It's April and I find myself in the same coffee shop as Hannah Brencher. How is life real?

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Performance night. Once again there's no oblivion to it, but one night I'm joined by a friend I haven't seen in ages, and the next I sit on the floor next to my favorite person. I wish I could hold onto them forever, but in this moment I'm just glad I'm here.

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The roads are winding and unfamiliar, but before I know it, I'm in Georgia hugging Hailey and it's so sweet and so wild, I can't quite wrap my head around it. When I get home that night, there are cars wrapped down my driveway and so many of my favorite humans are on my back porch, talking and laughing, and it is so, so good.

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We dance in the sun.

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Two weeks at the sea. The ocean always tries to heal my heart, bit by bit. I sit on the porch and stare at the sunset until there isn't a drop of light left, tiny flecks of seashells and sand still stuck to my skin.

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"I booked my flight."

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There's nothing I love more than the late summer air. We sit under the lights in my best friends backyard and laugh with people who've been there for it all.

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June sounds like the rustle of picnic blankets and the snap of a camera lens. We explore our own city, because why not?

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Atlanta. There will never be words. We run around the city and laugh over the stupidest things and soak in every last second of being together. It's summertime picnics and good music and staying in Hanne's hotel room until ungodly hours because we just don't want to say goodbye.

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I turn twenty-one and feel more loved than I knew was possible. All I can think as I drift off to sleep: may we all be so lucky.

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Book sales and cream puffs and my sweet grandma's birthday. I teach my first dance classes since May just a few days later and leave that night to the prettiest sunset.

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My last first day. It's strange to be back, but this time, my sister is with me. We run into old friends and face the season of new.

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I have never been so grateful to hear my phone's text chime.

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September holds weekends at the lake and the most precious downtown day and picnics with Mary Shelley. The crepe myrtles are still in bloom, and I snap a photo for Keira. 

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The weeks blur, but they're sweet. Dancing in the car and eyeball parties in literature, movie kidnappings and lots of Come From Away.

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We celebrate my grandparents' sixtieth anniversary with a last-minute beach retreat. We walk, and I savor every sunrise.

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Broadway is back. It's the very first night and our city is alive. I've never seen this many people at the theater before, and the electricity makes me want to weep. No one cares about the masks or the checks - we're just here to watch Orpheus bring the world to life once more.

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The fall afternoons are gentle. I sit on the swing with the same book I've been trying to finish all semester and watch people pass as they crunch through the fallen leaves. The light is golden as I drive home through the winding roads, and music from the playlist my friends sent pumps through my speakers and into my heart.

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Some people just feel like home, and she's one of them. We sit on her porch for hours, and I end up in her kitchen until late into the night. And I'm nothing but grateful. 

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The light is perfect as I spin through the field. I hear the click of the camera and can't believe there are just a few weeks left. 

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It's freezing and I couldn't care less. I laugh with three of my dearest friends for the first time in three and a half years, and I think to myself how lucky I am to have people who loved me at nine and still love me today. How lucky we are, the four of us, to have each other.

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Thanksgiving. We're together. What else could I ever ask for?

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I am so easily discouraged when I think back on the past year. But oh, how much gratitude I hold for it. 

I'm grateful that when it comes to moments from the past year, this post really only scratches the surface.

I'm grateful for rest, and for art, and for light. 

I'm grateful for laughter - because isn't it just the most beautiful thing?  

I'm grateful for new beginnings, even when they're the last thing that I want. I'm grateful that the sun always rises in the morning, and that life can, too.

I'm grateful for connection, and for community. Life is always, always, always more beautiful when I'm with my people. I'm grateful for the friendships that span decades, and for the friendships that span months, and I'm grateful for the people who've come into my life through this space - wildly, wildly grateful. You all have held me up, time and time again, and I feel forever in your debt for that.

I'm grateful for a God who holds me, even when I'm crazy enough to think He's not. I'm grateful that He loves me even when my brain is a mess, and that He keeps reminding me, over and over again. 

I'm grateful that we're here. That I'm here. That you're here. That my people are alright. For health, and for home. The world's still spinning. We're all here. And that will always be more than enough. 

Happy Thanksgiving, friends. Thanks for sticking around for another year of Thankfulness Thursdays - they've been a joy. Grateful for each and every one of you every day. 

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Thankfulness Thursday Friends ♥

Keira -- Close to Nothing

Thankfulness Thursday I

And, we're back. :-)

For the past seven years (!!!), November has meant Thankfulness Thursdays here on the blog. It's so funny because I truly never intended for this to be what it has become - when I started Thankfulness Thursdays, I was fifteen and couldn't come up with anything to post about on my blog. I remember distinctly talking to my mom about it in the car one day and saying, "Well, it's November, so I guess I can do a gratitude series or something to have some content this month." I certainly never expected to still be here, six Novembers later, but I'm oh so glad that I am. :-)

I know that I keep promising to come back with life updates and all of my typical content, and I promise, I haven't forgotten. Soon soon soon!

But for now, Thankfulness Thursdays are taking the reins. In case you're new and don't know the drill - every Thursday for the month of November, I share a post here on the blog centering around gratitude or what I'm particularly grateful for. Over the years, the challenge has changed and grown and now we keep the party going over on Instagram as well! I started the month over there this time around, but I'm planning to have the next three weeks here one the blog, too. 

My favorite part of Thankfulness Thursdays is seeing people join in - I love this little community, and I love hearing your thoughts over the course of the month. There’s no major method to the madness - I would just love for you to share what’s on your heart this November. This year has been a wild one, and I’m really hoping that Thankfulness Thursdays will be a way for us all to take a step back and just breathe.

Tag me in your posts on Instagram, and I will share them on my story, and shoot me a comment, email, or DM if you post for Thankfulness Thursday on your blog, and I’ll link to it on my blog post for that week so that we all can see what everyone is sharing.

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This year has been a strange one. I think that a piece of me thought that once we got past 2020, we would be able to breathe again, and while there's no doubt that this year has been no 2020 (thank GOD), I can't call it a cakewalk, either. I feel as though I'm living in a dichotomy of immense gratitude and utter uncertainty and unrest, and I don't know how to level the two. Perhaps you never do? 

The biggest thing that I know is that we constantly have to be rewiring our brains for gratitude. Because at the end of the day, it's a choice - choosing gratitude in the midst of the uncertainty. 

A few months ago, I was talking on the phone with a friend. She was asking me what I was thinking as far as life after graduation goes (because, oh yeah, I graduate in four weeks. Like I said, I really need to do a life update on here), and I was expressing my general panic at the fact that I have no earthly idea. I've always been the girl with a plan, and suddenly not having one is just about my least favorite thing in the world. 

I truly don't remember what I even said, but after I finished explaining where I was with it all, my friend said, "Well, isn't that kind of exciting though?" 

(Reader, I have not been excited.)

"You don't have any expectations for this season," she said, "and it's pretty hard to be disappointed when you don't have any expectations to begin with. So really, you can just be excited to see what happens next, right? You get to do something new, and you have all the options in the world. So, look at the excitement of it. Not the fear." 

It was a perspective that I quite literally had not even begun to consider before that moment. 

And, despite my ongoing anxiety about it all - it helped me to reframe my perspective. 

It helped me to find gratitude in a situation that I hadn't been giving much space for positivity at all. 

And isn't that what we have to keep doing in everything? 

It's about reframing. It's about gaining a new perspective. It's about taking a step back and letting yourself look at something in a different light - a better light. 

So here's to reframing towards gratitude, even when it's hard - and to the people who help us do it when we aren't able to on our own. 

May we hold those people close - and may we be those people to those around us. 

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Thankfulness Thursday Friends ♥

Keira -- Close to Nothing

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What are you grateful for this week, friend? I'd love to hear. And hey - I'd love for you to join in the Thankfulness Thursday challenge. Be sure to drop a link in the comments if you do - I'd love to share it, and I'd love to see it.  ♥ Check out my instagram to see some of the incredible humans joining in over there on my story - I love them all so dearly.

Thankfulness Thursday IV - Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving, friends! ♥

We all know that today's a weird one, but I so hope that you're able to hold on to as many pieces of "normal" today as possible. I don't think anyone is having a completely normal day, but I hope that yours is still special. That it's still warm. That you find moments of joy. 

It's a quiet one over here, quieter than usual, but still good. As I'm writing this, we're curled up at home with the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. We'll do lunch at home, and then this afternoon we're going over to my grandparents' for social-distanced dessert. :-) Trying to find the balance of traditions + safety is always tricky, but hey - we're all figuring it out together these days, eh? 

Over the past month or so, I've been on a major Come From Away kick. The show itself tells an often untold story of 9/11 - of the planes that were forced to land in Gander, Newfoundland and the relationships and connections that stemmed from that tragedy between the Newfoundlanders and "the plane people".  There's a refrain throughout the show that has been running through my mind over and over again lately - 

"You are here, at the start of a moment, on the edge of the world,

where the river meets the sea.

Here, on the edge of the Atlantic, on an island in between

there and here."

At this point in the story, everyone from the emergency-landed planes is stuck on this tiny island in the middle of nowhere, many of them with no idea what's happening back home or if their families are okay. They're just stuck, not knowing what's going to happen next or what life will look like when their world starts spinning again. 

And to me, that's been the perfect picture of how this whole year has felt. Stuck on an isolated island, staring out from the edge of the world hovered between two points in a tangled-up liminal space of sorts. How do you navigate a point on the map that you can't locate - not really feeling as though you're here or there or anywhere? The old is a distant memory, the next step feels light years away, and you don't know where "here" is. 

This year more than ever, I'm trying to learn how to land on gratitude in the middle of the in-between. 2020 isn't one that I would say I'm necessarily thankful for, and I don't know if you would, either. But I'm trying to find the gifts in the mess. In the middle of the pain, I'm trying to find the good. 

In a year that's shattered anything that I would have hoped for it to look like, I'm trying to flip it upside down and inside out and find the gratitude. 

So this year I'm thankful for rest, even when it was the last thing that I wanted. Going from running running running to stillness isn't something that's come naturally to me, and it still doesn't, eight or nine months later. But I'm grateful for quiet, and for learning to go a bit more slowly.

When it suddenly became impossible to do any of the things that previously filled life to the brim, I'm grateful to have been reminded just how dearly I love the things that I do. This year, if anything, I think, has shown me exactly what I care most about. In not doing something, you go one of two ways - you become indifferent to it, realizing that you didn't really need it, or you realize just how much it truly filled you. So I'm grateful for the reminders of the things that truly fill, even if I don't know how or when or if they'll become rhythms again. 

I'm grateful for connection and community, because this year it has become more evident than ever how deeply we all need it. We've had to fight for it and figure out creative ways to bring it to life, but I'm grateful for it all the same - even more, I think, for how scarce it's been at times. My people are the most beautiful part of life, and I'm so grateful for each and every one of them. You know. 

I'm grateful for art, because if anything (aside from Jesus + my people) has gotten me through this year, it's that. For stories and color and music and all of the things that make the world more beautiful. The world would be a pretty miserable place without art, and throughout this year, I think we've all seen just how desperately we need it to keep us afloat.

I'm grateful for a God who never leaves, even when the world feels upside down. Who keeps orchestrating the story and who has a plan for it all, even when I feel lost in the dark.

I'm grateful for home, and for family, and for health. I'm grateful that we're all here - because at the end of the day, that's all that really matters. The world's still spinning. We're all here. And that's enough. 

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Happy Thanksgiving, friends. Thanks for sticking around for another year of Thankfulness Thursdays - they've been a joy. Grateful for each and every one of you every day. 

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Thankfulness Thursday Friends ♥

Keira -- Close to Nothing

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In case you missed it...

Thankfulness Thursday I

Thankfulness Thursday II

Thankfulness Thursday III

Thankfulness Thursday III

Happy Thursday, friends!

Late last week, I remember thinking, "I'm going to knock out all of my work in the next few days, and then I can work on some creative projects over the weekend". Well, it's Thursday, and those creative projects have yet to be touched. It's just been that kind of week. :-) 

The semester is on its way out (20 more days!), the air is cooling as the trees continue to grow bare, and I'm finally beginning to feel like it's time for the holiday season to make things a little bit warmer and a little bit brighter. Late November always feels like the strangest in-between, and this year's strange to begin with, but we're here anyways. It's a little odd, a little overwhelming, but we're here.

And that's something to celebrate, I think.

I like to think of gratitude as "intentional noticing" - paying attention to the little moments that matter. It's something I'm pretty sure I'll be working on for the rest of my days, but I know that it makes life so much sweeter. So every day this week, I scribbled down those "hey, look at me!" moments, however small. I highly suggest giving it a try this week - especially if you're feeling a little overwhelmed.

I'd be lying if I said that my brain wasn't a little fried this week from one too many hours staring at graphic design workspaces and law briefings, but having something to bring me back into focus every day was a lifesaver.  So here are some of those moments from this past week for me - what were yours? 

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M O M E N T S

Friday - I went to the mall for the first time since the pandemic began, and it was weird and wonderful all at once. I didn't buy anything, but I wandered and looked and listened to the Christmas music play. My favorite store was filled with velvet skirts, and it couldn't have felt more like the holiday season was finally here. That night, I got to watch Kenzie slay her poetry slam over Zoom (she took SECOND and I was so proud), and we watched You've Got Mail. I think I love it a little more every single time. 

Saturday - Golden light and checking things off the list. Good conversations and quiet space.

Sunday - Sunday was probably my peak overwhelm day, with all the things seeming to hit at once. But then late that afternoon I got a text from a dear friend, and, against my better judgement, the next thing I knew, I was driving to a coffee shop to meet up with him before he headed back to school. The air was chilled and the sunset was gorgeous and I hadn't seen him since August, and when I got home my to-do list wasn't any shorter but I could breathe again. 

Monday - Outdoor dance classes and talks with a friend. My elementary babies learned their choreography the quickest they ever have, and I was quite proud. :-) When I got home, I sat in the leaves and talked to my mom as the sun slowly set.

Tuesday - Catching up catching up catching up. Getting to design logos and sketch botanicals instead of editing law papers. Finishing hours of Zoom calls with a checked-off list of multitasked work to show for it.

Wednesday - Getting a presentation that I'd been dreading for a month out of the way. My cat deciding that I had worked long enough and promptly sitting on my laptop, then sitting on me. Light dancing on the walls and making the world a little more beautiful.

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Thankfulness Thursday Friends ♥

Keira -- Close to Nothing

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In case you missed it...

Thankfulness Thursday I

Thankfulness Thursday II

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What are you grateful for this week, friends? I'd love to hear. And hey - I'd love for you to join in the Thankfulness Thursday challenge. Be sure to drop a link in the comments if you do - I'd love to share it, and I'd love to see it. ♥  Check out the beautiful posts above, or head over to my instagram to see some of the incredible humans joining in over there on my story - I love them all so dearly.

Thankfulness Thursday II

Hello, lovely humans - happy week two. :-) 

It's been a weird week, the kind that feels as though it's flown by and dragged on all at once. I still haven't gotten used to how short the days are, and this sunlight loving girl is not a fan. It seems like every day I find myself panicking because oh-my-goodness-the-day-is-almost-over-and-there's-still-so-much-to-do, and then I look at the clock only to find that no, it's just 5:15, and I need to calm the heck down.

In case you've ever wondered what my day-to-day life is like, well, there you go. 

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When I think about 2020, the very first thought that enters my head is that I would give just about anything to be done with it, to forget it ever happened. We've all been saying it for the past nine months, haven't we? We're counting down to 2021 with the desperate (if naive) hope that it will be better, ready to put this chaotic mess of a year behind us. 

It's kind of sad, really. I don't think anyone can be blamed for it - things have been rough, plain and simple. But it's sad, thinking about how a year - the start of a decade - that was entered into with so much enthusiasm has gone so south. 

That's not to say that there isn't gratitude to be found in the year - there is, and this challenge is really, really good for me, because it's making me think differently, to look harder and press deeper into gratitude. My thoughts on it all are tangled but numerous, and I'm glad that we still have a couple more weeks to keep going into it all. 

What stuck with me today, though, as I sat down to write this post, is how grateful I am for the moments of oblivion. Maybe oblivion isn't the right term - we're all a little too aware of everything this year, I think. But I'm exceptionally grateful for the small moments of normalcy that have been found amidst so much chaos, the moments in which the world didn't feel quite so terrible. Where maybe we weren't oblivious to everything happening, but it wasn't consuming. We could breathe. And maybe they've been few and far between, but wow, am I grateful for them. 

When I look back on this blog years down the road, and I wince as I select the 2020 tab, I want to remember the moments where, however unstable, things felt okay. When the magic of normalcy prevailed, even for a moment. 

It's the last day of February and we closed one of the most difficult shows of my life. By a stroke of pure magic, all of the people that I love most in the world are in one single place, and we dance on the empty stage and load cars in the freezing cold and snap a single terrible self timer photo that I'll cherish for the rest of my days. We hop from terrible fast food restaurant to terrible fast food restaurant and pack into a single car because there's nowhere else to sit, and we laugh until we cannot breathe. It's the best night of the year and I somehow know it, in that moment. 

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We know the lockdown is coming; it's just a matter of time. But my best friend and I are hired to dance, and the gig makes it through, exactly one week before all hell breaks loose. It's the last time I'm in a crowd, but I don't know it, not then. We get up at five and drive to the set and I pinch myself all morning. 

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Spring. I sit in the sun, and everywhere I look, there are blooms. 

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I drive and I drive, from the middle of nowhere one way to the middle of the mountains the other. I can't hug my kids, but I see them, and their surprised faces fill me for the rest of the week. 

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It's that hazy almost-summer-but-not-quite time of the year. Lawn chairs are spread out all over a friend's massive front yard, and we're so thrilled to be together that the whole six foot thing couldn't matter less.

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For the first time in almost three months, I dance, with the most wonderful choreographer in the world. We work for hours and don't even care how late it gets because we're dancing again, and it's a piece of the puzzle we've missed so desperately.

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The sun goes down in the distance as we sit in the grass, worshipping. This park has become our new second home, and as I close my eyes, I feel lighter than I have in a long, long time.

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June. The skies are clear and it's a miracle I don't spend the whole day weeping. When it's finally over, we spend hours laughing in the dark, sitting in our dresses and heels in a friend's driveway. 

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The flowers probably constitute as weeds, but we pick them anyways. We walk in circles around the pond, the July sun beating down as we twist the stems and talk. 

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We haven't been to the pool in years, but this is a summer smells like chlorine and is sweetened with friendship. It's a routine that becomes therapeutic, and for a few hours the water washes the world away.

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I turn twenty and I am overwhelmed by love, fuller than I knew I could be.

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The twinkle lights glow as we sit on the back porch for one of the last times of the summer. A new season is beginning and people are going and the last thing I'm ready for is more new, but for a moment nothing is new and I hold on to it. 

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We drive up into the mountains for apples, something I haven't done in years. The leaves are only beginning to change, and the drive is only an hour, but it feels like an adventure. 

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I sit on the empty beach, completely surrounded by shells, and realize that I can't remember the last time that my body held this little tension. I've been here for a week and am overwhelmed by peace that I didn't know could still be felt. I think to myself that I could stay in this very spot for the rest of my days and it would be enough.

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The sky is still a deep indigo, but the horizon line is beginning to glow towards the east. I wrap myself in a blanket and slip out the door, the porch boards creaking under my bare feet. I sink into the old rocking chair and stare out at the sky as it slowly comes to life with color - pinks and oranges and golds. And as I stare at the sky, it's in this oblivion that I can breathe.

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Thankfulness Thursday Friends ♥

Keira -- Close to Nothing

Melody -- Down the Rabbit Hole

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In case you missed it...

Thankfulness Thursday I

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What are you grateful for this week, friends? I'd love to hear. And hey - I'd love for you to join in the Thankfulness Thursday challenge. Be sure to drop a link in the comments if you do - I'd love to share it, and I'd love to see it. ♥  Check out the beautiful posts above, or head over to my instagram to see some of the incredible humans joining in over there on my story - I love them all so dearly.

Thankfulness Thursday I

And, we're back. :-) 

Goodness, I love this series. I am so excited to be diving into Thankfulness Thursdays for the sixth year now. Six years! As cliche as it feels to say, it seems like forever ago and yesterday all at once, and I'm just happy to still be here. 

Most of you know the drill, but if you're new around here, here's how it goes - every Thursday for the month of November, I share a post here on the blog centering around gratitude or what I'm particularly grateful for. Additionally, I'm carrying the series over to Instagram as well, and will be posting over there every Thursday as well. This year will be the biggest yet, and I'm so excited! And I want you to be involved as well. 

My favorite part of Thankfulness Thursdays is seeing people join in - I love this little community, and I love hearing your thoughts over the course of the month. There’s no major method to the madness - I would just love for you to share what’s on your heart this November. This year has been a wild one, and I’m really hoping that Thankfulness Thursdays will be a way for us all to take a step back and just breathe.

Tag me in your posts on Instagram, and I will share them on my story, and shoot me a comment, email, or DM if you post for Thankfulness Thursday on your blog, and I’ll link to it on my blog post for that week so that we all can see what everyone is sharing.

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If I'm being completely honest, I've been wrestling quite a bit over the course of this year with contentment.

Which, for me, has really never been the norm. I'm the kind of person who's content to stay where they are. I have more goals and bucket list items and "one day"'s than I could begin to count, and I've always been pecking away at some sort of project trying to get there - but when it comes to the day to day, I've almost always been content.

As everything has flipped upside down this year, not only with the pandemic but a litany of life things, I've found myself struggling more and more to be okay where I am. More often than not, I've wanted to be anywhere but where I am. I've driven myself crazy wishing to go back to how things used to be, or dreaming up how things could be. And I've hated it, this discontentment, hated the lack of peace that it's given me. 

One night a few months back, I was lying in bed, wrestling with it all and trying to figure out how on earth to, for lack of a better term, pull myself together. And the whisper of clarity that I received was so distinct that I wrote it down on the spot, because I knew there was no way it could have come from my tangled-up brain: contentment looks like gratitude.

Gratitude and contentment pretty much go hand in hand. When you're content, you're grateful for what you've been given, and when you're grateful, contentment isn't too far behind. And that's what I've had to remind myself, over and over and over. 

Life is hard, but there is so much to be grateful for. And maybe life in this season doesn't look like what I would have chosen, but I'm here for a reason, and I can make the conscious decision to be grateful for the good that is around me. I can choose what I dwell on - and that definitely isn't a battle that I win every day, or even most days. But it's a refrain that I can choose, a rewiring that I can aim towards. And in the conscious act of choosing gratitude over and over again, it becomes more and more of a default. That's why I'm extra excited for this series this year - because I know that it's the push I need to keep rewiring my brain towards gratitude. 

Whenever I start panicking or feeling overwhelmed or stuck, I'm trying to get into the habit of taking the time to calm down and think through things that I'm grateful for about my present circumstances - the things in this season of life that are good. I shared a list of some of my favorites from this week over on my Instagram, and I'm going to drop that list here - maybe it will give you a starting point of your own. :-)

gratitude:

- the ocean
- journaling on the front porch as the sun comes up
- the beanie that my best friend knit for me
- books that make me laugh
- books that make me cry
- books that do both
- tiny birds that make me smile
- blasting bad 2000’s pop music while I get ready in the morning
- blueberry bagels + cream cheese
- time to finally breathe
- sweater pockets full of seashells
- long walks
- sunrises and sunsets and all the colors of the sky in between

Contentment looks like gratitude. I just keep reminding myself of that fact, over and over and over. Contentment looks like gratitude - and I have so much to be grateful for. 

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Thankfulness Thursday Friends ♥

Keira -- Close to Nothing

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What are you grateful for this week, friends? I'd love to hear. And hey - I'd love for you to join in the Thankfulness Thursday challenge. Be sure to drop a link in the comments if you do - I'd love to share it, and I'd love to see it. ♥  Check out my instagram to see some of the incredible humans joining in over there on my story - I love them all so dearly.

Thankfulness Thursday V

I am convinced that there are few things in life better for you than challenging yourself to chase gratitude.

Because let's be honest. When I say chase, I mean it. Sometimes, you have to quite literally sprint after gratitude, to push yourself to grasp it between your shaking fingers. When things get busy and stressful, when the overwhelm takes over, gratitude seems far off. But if there's one thing that chasing after gratitude will teach you, it's that it's always worth it.

Every November, as I write up these Thankfulness Thursday posts and send them out into the wild void that is the internet, I'm reminded of this. That, like love, gratitude isn't always going to be a feeling. You aren't always going to wake up first thing in the morning and be flooded with joy and thankfulness. You're going to get tired and you're going to dread the tasks in front of you and you're going to wish for nothing more than to bury yourself away for the rest of the month.

But you have the choice to do otherwise. 

You have the choice to decide that you're not going to let that inclination win. You have the choice to get up and face the tasks ahead of you not as things that you have to do, but as things that you get to do. You can dread getting up and going to school, or you can take a breath and simply be glad that you're physically able to do that. You can wish that you didn't have to go to that event, or you can be thankful for the friend that you're going to get to hug while you're there.

It's all a choice. 

Over the last few months, one of the most prominent reminders that I've had whirring around in my brain is how much completely minuscule crap that we complain about every single day. Everywhere I go, it seems that all I hear is the negative about people's lives, the tiny things of no value that they let ruin their day. I never hear about the good things, I just hear about how much they don't want to take that test or run that errand. And when I say ruin their day, I mean that. People let these things that quite frankly won't matter in a month suck any joy out of their day, and subsequently drain everyone around them.

And I get it. I really, truly do. I'm as guilty as anyone of seeing a friend and immediately venting about the current source of stress in my life. And I'm not saying that that's a bad thing at all. Friends are there for a reason. We need people in our lives who are there when we're overwhelmed or having a bad day or just need to rant. But why is it the norm for that to be all that we ever do?

I'm not saying to fake being fine; I'm not saying that at all. That's never healthy. But is dwelling in a sea of negativity healthy either?

We have to have a balance. We have to be able to acknowledge that hey, this thing is happening that I'm really not a fan of, and it's getting on my nerves - but it's also not the end of the world, and there's more to life than a task that I don't like.

There's such an infinite amount to be grateful for, even when there may not be a massive, joy filled blessing that you've been waiting and waiting for staring up at you. You have the choice to choose gratitude. That choice is something that no person and no circumstance can take away from you.

So friends, if you only take one thing away from Thankfulness Thursdays this year, let it be this - gratitude is a choice that will only make your life better. You have nothing to lose by choosing to be grateful. It doesn't cost anything except maybe taking a step back and chipping away a bit of pride. So as we go into December, into a month that can be magical or miserable, let that thought linger. Hold onto it. Grasp it between your shaking fingers.

There is so much to be thankful for.

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Thankfulness Thursday Friends ♥

Keira -- Close to Nothing

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Thanks for sticking around for another year of Thankfulness Thursdays, my beautiful friends. What are you thankful for?

Thankfulness Thursday IV - Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving! ♥

Per usual, it's been a quiet Thanksgiving around here, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Thanksgiving for us always begins with watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade and is followed with spending the rest of the day with family and way too much food. We've started to get Christmas decorations out, and I think that it's safe to say that the holiday season is officially in full swing. Despite the fact that I've been listening to Christmas music since August for my dance classes, it feels like the season snuck up on us so quickly this year, but I'm ready to throw myself headfirst into the Christmas preparations. Thanksgiving always feels like the calm before the storm, a day to rest and reset before the final stretch of the year, and I kind of love it. 

For last year's Thanksgiving Thankfulness Thursday post, I talked about what I was thankful for over the course of the past year, and I decided to continue the tradition. It's always nice to take a step back and look at the big picture of it all, don't you think? 

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When I think over everything that I'm thankful for from 2018, the main theme that comes up over and over again is that I am just so ridiculously grateful for the people in my life. Every single one of my favorite memories is near and dear to my heart entirely because of the people involved. On top of the amazing family that I already have, Jesus has given me the best "adopted family" I could have ever asked for, and I'm so grateful for all of the pieces of home that I have scattered in every direction. I so don't deserve such wonderful people, but I love them with my whole heart. 

I am thankful for theatre, and the massive gift that it is in my life. It's not an easy art to love, but it's been the thing that has shaped me more than any other, and I wouldn't want to live in a world without it. I'm so beyond grateful to now not only love it, but have the opportunity to have a job in it as well. I'm so grateful for people who believe in me enough to give me the chance to do what I love.

I am thankful for the internet, and for the community that we've created here. Even when life is crazy and steps back have to be taken, I always return to this space so grateful to have somewhere that we can all do what we love surrounded by some of the most incredible people on the planet. Through the internet, I've gotten to know people with incredible drive and ambition and dreams, people who are creating SUCH COOL THINGS, and who also make the absolute best friends. People who pray for you and encourage you, people who always make your day brighter and who help you when you feel like you're drowning. You guys are such a bright spot in my day, and I love you all so much.

I am thankful for senior spring, and the wildly beautiful ride that it was. It was so hard, but amidst the stress and the overwhelm, it was a season of grace upon grace upon grace.

I am thankful that while we live in a world that's so messy and screwed up and broken, we also live in a world that has sunsets and music and art and warm blankets and all of the wonderful little things that make the mess a little more bearable. I'm thankful for simple bright spots in the midst of mundanity, and for the fact that they leave room for optimism when it's not immediately the easiest to find. 

Primarily, I am thankful for a God who continues to teach me new things every day, who cares about every detail of my life and answers prayers in ways I would have never dreamed of. Over the course of this past year, I have seen prayer after prayer answered, and I am consistently overwhelmed with gratitude for that. I'm grateful for His consistency, patience, and love, His goodness and His faithfulness, and for how He has blessed me a thousand times over what I deserve. 

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Thankfulness Thursday Friends ♥

Keira -- Close to Nothing

Vanessa -- Simply Me

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In case you missed it...

Thankfulness Thursday I

Thankfulness Thursday II

Thankfulness Thursday III

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What are you thankful for this year?

Thankfulness Thursday III

Happy Thursday, friends!

It's been a rather gloomy week around here. We're going on day four of what feels like endless rain, and at this point, I'd give just about anything for some sunshine. On top of daylight savings and the cold weather, I am really not a fan of these gray, wet days. Here's hoping that sunshine is around the corner very soon!

In complete honesty, I wasn't sure what I was going to write about going into this post. As much as I love writing for Thankfulness Thursday, some weeks the words don't come quite as easily, and this was one of those times. School and NaNo (yes, I'm attempting NaNo. I'm a psychopath, I know.) have begun to make me feel like I've been robbed of any writing ability at this point. 

Then I opened my email. If you follow me on Instagram (shameless plug), you know that I can't get enough of Miss Elaini's weekly Dear Wednesday emails. They always seem to speak into exactly what I need to hear, and this week's was, ironically enough, about gratitude. It was the perfect reminder of why I love Thankfulness Thursday in the first place. Elaini wrote- 

"I needed to be reminded about how many good things there are all around us.  They exist every. single. day. We just have to have eyes to see them. That moment of gratitude was so helpful for me. It instantly started changing how I felt. No, my current problems didn't disappear but I was reminded that giving thanks brings a true joy. It lifts us from ourselves to look upward. (.....) Did you know that gratitude is proven to make you happier?! Just writing down three things you're grateful for each day can revolutionize your life. It's FREE and it's SIMPLE! Did I mention that it will bring you increased joy?! What isn't there to love?"

Not only was her email the perfect reminder of why I love Thankfulness Thursday, it also helped me to remember that gratitude doesn't always have to be in the big, massive things. (And that these posts don't always have to be intense!) There's so much gratitude in the everyday as well. 

So, this Thursday, here are some of the things that I'm grateful for...

// Blankets upon blankets upon blankets when the world is far too cold

// Nights at the theater with good friends, and works of art that tell stories that matter

// Cancelled classes

// Car rides with Jesus

// Rereading Harry Potter at midnight because I actually get to sleep in the next morning

// The sanity saver that is prayer journaling

// Peanut butter cups

// A job doing what I love surrounded by the people that I love

// Floral rain boots

Here's to celebrating the little things. :)

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Thankfulness Thursday Friends ♥

Send me your Thankfulness Thursday links and I'll share them here!

Gabriela - Unwinding the Soul
Keira - Close to Nothing

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In case you missed it...

Thankfulness Thursday I

Thankfulness Thursday II

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What are you thankful for this week?

Thankfulness Thursday II

"I've seen you move,

You move the mountains

and I believe

I'll see You do it again.

You made a way

when there was no way

and I believe

I'll see You do it again."

This week, I'm thankful for hope. 

It's been a long week, the kind that you're ready to be done with before it's properly begun. There's been a lot of stuff weighing really heavily on my heart that's made it difficult to concentrate on much else. But let me tell you a story.

This past Monday was in just about every way your quintessential "everything that can go wrong, will go wrong" kind of Monday. Everything from forgotten appointments to miscommunications to being inches away from ending up in a car accident all added up to a day of utter chaos.

After a morning of insanity, I was driving home to grab lunch before heading to an afternoon of back to back teaching, and I found myself already completely drained. With the worship music blaring, in a whisper, I begged, "Jesus, please, can I have just one good thing happen today? Just one?" I remember sighing and continuing on home to keep on with the rest of the day. I didn't think anything of that little breathed prayer, honestly. It was just an exhausted plea for a break.

As I was throwing together some food in the kitchen, I was joined by my mom. We were talking through various logistical things about the day and about rehearsal schedules when she paused what she was doing and turned to look at me. "Oh, by the way, did you hear?" she asked.

She proceeded to tell me about something that took place in the life of one of my dearest friends, something that I'd been praying and praying and praying for nearly every single day for the past two years. The amount of times that I wrote that prayer over and over in my prayer journal is ridiculous. I quite literally still have it written on a list of prayers that I keep taped in my car to pray over as I drive to school each day. 

Next week would mark the two year anniversary of that prayer. For the past three days, all I've been able to think is thank you, Jesus. 

At the best possible time, I got the 'yes' that I feared would never come. On a day that I would have been thrilled just to get a sunset or even make it through an hour without anything going terribly, I ended up with happy tears for the rest of the week.

So this week, I am thankful for His faithfulness, and as my necklace says in the photo up top, I'm thankful for hope. In the midst of this week, my silly worrier heart so needed the reminder that He is faithful, and that because of Him, I have hope. Because this week, I've seen Him move the mountains, so why shouldn't I believe that I'll see Him do it again? Why should I worry when I know Who holds the world in His hand? When it feels like there's chaos around every corner, I have hope because I know that God doesn't forget. He answers what feels like the impossible. He is good in all things, and He's going to take care of us. Because of that hope, we can keep pressing on, because He's the God of the hills and valleys, and we're never alone. So this week, I'm wearing that little necklace, as a reminder of crappy Mondays and answered prayers, and of the One who's over it all.

Thankful doesn't even begin to describe it.

"Your promise still stands,

great is Your faithfulness,

faithfulness,

I'm still in Your hands

this is my confidence,

You've never failed me yet."

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Thankfulness Thursday Friends ♥

Send me your Thankfulness Thursday links and I'll share them here!

Vanessa -- Simply Me
Cute Nerdy Girl

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In case you missed it....

Thankfulness Thursday I

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What are you thankful for this week?

Thankfulness Thursday I

It's that time of year again!

Gratitude is something that we all could be better about practicing year round, but we're all reminded of it a bit more around Thanksgiving. Three years ago, in 2015, I decided to put a particular emphasis on taking note of everything that I have to be thankful for by starting a Thankfulness Thursday series here on Totally Graced for the month of November. The posts were simple, just short lists of things that I was thankful for over the course of the week. Since then, Thankfulness Thursday has become an annual tradition, with bloggers from all over the world joining in each November. The posts vary from incredible stories of God's goodness to mere sentences, the kind that are all you can choke out when your brain is spinning in a thousand directions. At the core, however, they all share the same message- on the good days and the bad, the easy and the hard, there is always something to be grateful for. 

I'm really excited to jump into the fourth year of Thankfulness Thursday! The beautiful Vanessa of Simply Me has already come on board to participate alongside me this month, and I would love for you to join in as well. You don't have to post every week, and it doesn't have to be long or complicated. You can even join in on social media if you prefer. Thankfulness Thursday is just a great way to celebrate all that we have to be thankful for, no matter how you decide to join in. Everyone seems to be super stressed out in November, whether that's due to the impending holiday season, finals, NaNoWriMo, or just the general pressures of life. I've found that doing Thankfulness Thursday posts is a great way to refocus myself each week and remind myself that amidst the crazy, everything's going to be okay. 

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There are so many things that I'm thankful for. I'm thankful for the fact that I have incredible people in my life, a job that I love, and access to anything that I could possibly need. I'm thankful for rest and for adventures, for dancing and for peace.

But something in particular that I've been thinking through lately the fact that I'm grateful that I'm not the one in control. 

Hear me out. I am a control freak. I've long since accepted this about myself. I'm about as Type A as you can get. Lists calm me. I don't like surprises. I'm most comfortable when I feel like I have a steady grip on everything around me. I realized a long time ago that, in one way or another, all of the things in life that freak me out the most involve some aspect of a loss of being in control.

And yet, I've been realizing lately that I am so grateful that I'm not. 

October was a strange month. There were multiple situations that took place that didn't work out at all how I would have necessarily hoped, and definitely not how I would have chosen had I been able to change things. I'm a bit of a verbal processor at times, and often when I'm in the car alone for long periods of time, I find myself working the things that have been spinning in my brain out aloud, asking God to make sense of them, to help me understand. And as I was doing this one morning, the thought flew into my head, clear as day- "Why am I upset over this when God's the one in control, not me? Why would I want to be the one in control here? Doesn't He know so much more than I do? He has it all worked out. Why am I even hesitating to be okay with that?" 

When something doesn't work out the way that we might have liked, what if we didn't take it as such a negative thing? What if we realized that maybe our own plans weren't quite so perfect after all?

So lately, something that I've been adding to my chats with Jesus is, "Thank You so much that You're the one in control and I'm not." Because that's something to be grateful for. I can't even imagine what a mess it would be if we were the ones running the show. 

Amidst a thousand other things, this Thursday, I'm thankful that I'm not the one in control.

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Thankfulness Thursday Friends ♥

Vanessa -- Simply Me

(Leave me a comment or shoot me an email if you join in and I'll link your post here! Let's share the gratitude this November. )

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How's life going, friends? What are you thankful for?